Southern Comfort With A Twist
by Debwood-1999
Summary: Matt finds himself snared in a comedy of errors when his best friends start a rumor at his brother Jeff's wedding. My take on Out At The Wedding!
1. Chapter 1

**This is my version of the movie "Out At The Wedding," which is directed by Lee Friedlander and is written by Paula Goldberg. If you haven't seen it, go rent it! It really is a great movie!**

**Southern Comfort With A Twist**

**By Debwood-1999**

_**Chapter One**_

"Eve, will you marry me?" Matt Hardy asked as he slipped a ring on his girlfriend's finger.

Eve Torres gasped in happy shock and brought a hand to her mouth.

"So, is that a yes?"

Eve nodded and smiled. "Yes! Yes, I'll marry you!" she shouted, standing up from the table at the fancy restaurant Matt had taken her to. Her boyfriend stood up and threw his arms around her. Once the excitement died down, Matt and his new fiancee went back to their seats.

"Matt, we're so happy that you want us to be part of your birthday dinner," smiled Mrs. Torres, who was seated across from the happy couple. "And my husband and I are happier still that you love our daughter and want to be part of our family."

Mr. Torres, seated next to his wife, raised his wine glass. "Cheers! To Matt and Eve, and to a long, happy future together." Everyone clinked their glasses together in agreement. He smiled at his wife. "I thought you said there wasn't anyone good enough for our little girl." He paused. "Seriously, Matt. The day Eve brought you home, well...we all fell in love with you. And we know we'll never be able to replace your family, but we're all blessed that we'll be able to call your our son."

Matt's smile was genuine. "Thanks, that means so much to me..." He glanced across the crowded restaurant and spotted a familiar dark haired figure. "Hey, Phil's here! How weird and connected is that?" Eve's family waved in a friendly greeting. "He wouldn't show up unless there it was really important. Will you excuse me?"

Matt discretely made his way over to his friend and took him aside. "Philly, what are you doing? I said meet at my apartment at 8:30."

Phil Brooks shook his head. "Matty, it's 9:20. When you didn't show up at your apartment, Anna and I got worried and came over here. Let's go."

"What about my luggage?"

"It's in the cab. Let's book."

"It's a little awkward, Phil. Change of plans. Eve's photo shoot's been rescheduled. Her flight doesn't leave until Saturday. So I told her that you and Anna had a big birthday surprise for me, and that I have to leave with you guys tonight." Matt paused. "So, you've met Eve's parents already, right?"

"Anna and I already have. Let's say our goodbyes and gracefully make our way towards the exit-"

"Oh, wait!" Matt smiled. "I asked Eve to marry me."

"Well, congratulations!"

"Thanks!" Matt and Phil headed back towards the table. "Oh, and here's the clincher. Mom and Dad Torres, they think my family's dead."

~~~SCWAT~~~

"Anna, I thought you, Matt and Phil would like these for your flight," Mr. Torres said outside the restaurant a few minutes later.

Anna Hollenbeck, a tiny blonde slip of a woman who was Phil's roommate and his and Matt's best friend, graciously accepted the offered paper bag. "Well, thank you, Mr. Torres," she said, as she climbed back into the taxi. "I think we'll definitely enjoy these."

A few feet away, Matt and Eve were sharing a goodbye kiss. "I feel so weird leaving you, Eve."

"Matt, it's okay. I wish we were going together, but I like Phil and Anna. You're in good hands. We'll just go away together on our honeymoon?"

"I think that can be arranged."

"Uh, Houston? We have a problem!" Phil caught Matt's attention. "Quarter to ten," he announced, as he hopped into the waiting cab next to his roommate. "We have to get a move on."

"Sorry, Eve. Phil's being persistent." Sighing, Matt climbed into the cab.

"Wait!" Eve caught her fiance's attention. "Where's Anna and Phil taking you?"

"Don't know," Matt said, shrugging his shoulders. "It's a surprise."

Eve cocked an eyebrow. "Then how do you know you're running late."

"He's always late," Anna chimed in, preventing an awkward moment and earning her a dirty look from Matt.

"True that," laughed Eve. "Love you, Matt."

Matt smiled. "Love you back," he answered her, as he closed the cab door and it pulled out into traffic.

~~~SCWAT~~~

Anna opened the huge paper sack and shook her head. "Uh,why did Eve's dad give me a bag full of Latin pastries?"

"Eve's dad owns a bakery," Matt pointed out. "They're probably day-olds."

Phil chuckled. "Eat up, Anna. Looking at you, you definitely need them more than us."

"Ha, ha." Anna took a bite out of an empanada. "Hmmm. Strawberry."

"Yeah, it's great when he drops by to visit," Matt said. "There's always something for breakfast."

"Matt, there's enough pastries in here for everyone within a 12-block area." Anna paused, and then put on an accent that made her sound like she'd been born hock-deep in hominy grits. "Maybe we can save some for your daddy when you get off the plane in North Carolina."

"Anna, don't start."

"You know Matty, Eve's not dumb." Phil reached in the bag and pulled out what looked like a big cookie with jam in the middle. "it's hard for us to believe you kept this up for three months. You've got quite the gift, Matt. You're the Diva of Deception-"

"Philly, Matt's a guy," Anna cut in. "He can't be a diva."

"Okay. Duke of Deception. The Sultan of Subterfuge. The Baron of Bull-"

"Phil, stop!" Matt huffed. "I'm not deceiving anyone. Eve misunderstood me, and I just...well, I never corrected her."

"Matty," Anna reached in for another empanada. "Eve thinks your entire family's dead. That's not a misunderstanding. That's mass murder."

"Genocide," added Phil, nibbling on the cookie.

"I get it! I know it's sucky." Matt pulled a big, pink monstrosity out of the paper sack. "But you know my family. It's this big, scary guess-who's-coming-to-dinner type type thing. I didn't think it would be a big deal, but I didn't expect to fall in love and pop the question in three months." Matt sighed and took a huge bite out of the pastry. After chewing and swallowing, he wondered, "What am I gonna do?"

"Well, this may be your least favorite option," sighed Phil. "But it may be the best one. We tell her the truth."

"Yeah. I'm gonna tell her the truth. When we all get back, I'll tell everyone the truth." Matt took another bite. "I just...I just don't want to make Jeff's wedding about me."

Anna cocked an eyebrow. "Why? He managed to make your birthday last year all about him. And don't tell me it was the only date available. He did it on purpose, and you know it."

"You just don't like him."

"I do like Jeff," Anna shot back. "Just in small doses."

Phil snorted. "To be honest, Matty, _you_ don't like him."

**NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR: I know I'm taking some creative liberties with Eve's family, so bear with me and suspend your disbelief. I know Matt and Eve may not be everyone's cup of tea, but there's gonna twists and turns galore in this fic. After all, why do you think I called it Southern Comfort With A Twist?**

**REVIEWS = LOVE**


	2. Chapter 2

**NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR: If you're wondering who Anna is, Anna is my OC. You can check out her back story on my profile. BTW, reviews motivate me to keep writing, so to whomever reviews my story, a big THANKS!**

_**Chapter Two**_

After a late night flight to Raleigh, and an overnight stay at a Days Inn, Matt, Phil and Anna rented a car and drove to Matt's childhood home in Cameron. As the three of them climbed out, Phil looked around with a slightly amused expression. "Everytime I come out here, I always think of the Dueling Banjos song."

"Philly, that is such bad taste," said Anna, shaking her head.

Matt spotted his brother in the backyard. "Jeff! We're here!"

The first thing Matt noticed was that his younger brother's hair, once halfway down his back and full of purple, pink and green streaks, was back to its natural blonde shade and cut to his shoulders. He wore a gray and blue plaid shirt over a white wife beater and faded blue jeans. Compared to the last time Matt saw him, which was at the infamous birthday party a year ago, Jeff looked pretty subdued.

Smiling, Jeff approached his big brother, who opened his arms for a brotherly hug. The smile cooled off about ten degrees when he drew closer.

"Matt, you've gained weight."

Well, that took the wind out of Matt's sails. "Guys," he muttered under his breath to his two companions, "Remind me why I haven't visited in three years."

"Oh, I'm sorry," Jeff babbled in apology. "I meant that you didn't call me with your sizes when I ordered everyone's tuxes. I just went by memory. You'll wanna try yours on real quick to make sure we have enough time to alter it if we have to."

"Hi, Jeff."

"Hi, Phil. Anna! It's good to see you again." Jeff and Anna exchanged air kisses. "So, is Matt your date for the wedding?"

"Actually, I'm a stand-in for one of the bridesmaids," Anna explained. "Amy called a couple days ago. Gayle's mom is in the hospital. I thought she and Trish told you that I was filling in. Which reminds me, I have to call Amy and tell her I'm here." Amy Dumas had become Anna's first friend after moving to North Carolina. After re-locating to New York City with Phil two years ago, Anna still kept in touch with Amy, as well as her other friends. "She wants to take me into Raleigh for a mani-pedi and to get my hair done for the ceremony."

"Oh, yeah. It's been so stressful, it musta' slipped my mind. You know how I am."

Matt chimed in. "Sometimes I wonder. But you knew Anna was gonna be here anyway. Friend of the bridal party."

"Yeah, but that was months ago," Jeff said in slight dismay. "I thought by now you'd have found some nice girl and brought her as your date."

Anna shot her roommate a look that read, See why I like him only in small doses? Phil looked uncomfortable (he liked Matt's dad, but tried to stay away from any family drama). Matt looked uptight.

The awkward moment was broken when Jeff noticed his dad moving some patio furniture onto the lawn. "Dad!" he shouted, "Matty's here!"

Matt recognized the heavyset form of his dad, and the well muscled Jamaican man working next to him. "Oh, Dad's still got Jimmy," he said.

"Hey, I just saw Trish's car pull into the driveway. Guess she and the wedding planner are here. Matt, your tux is in the guest room. You and Phil and Anna can put your stuff in there. Gotta go."

Jeff headed out of the backyard, as Gil Hardy approached the three new arrivals. "Matt, good to see you."

"Hi, Dad."

"You know, you coulda called me. I'd have had someone come get you."

"We didn't want to impose too much on you, Legend. We appreciate you putting us all up for the weekend," Phil offered graciously as he noticed all the decorations in the backyard. "The place is looking great. Jeff looks really happy."

"Thanks." Gil paused. "So, your job in New York coming along okay?"

"Oh, yeah! The tattoo shop's been featured in this month's Savage Magazine."

Gil looked his older son up and down. "Matt, you look good. You know, I always thought you'd be the first one to get married."

The comment made Matt feel uncomfortable. "Uhhh...you remember Anna, right?"

"I certainly do." Gil smiled. "Anna, you haven't changed a bit."

"Thanks, Legend. Still short, and still in need of a good meal." Everyone chuckled.

"How's your family been?"

"Pretty good. Dad just got a new RV and he sent me pictures from the Grand Canyon last week. Mom's thinking about relocating to Raleigh so she can be closer to her sister-"

"Jimmy, careful with that table, it'll bite you!" Gil exclaimed, cutting Anna off. "Sorry bout that. Anyway, I'm gonna check and see how things are going. Make yourselves at home. Rehearsal's at four at Trish's parents' house, and dinner's at six over here. Don't wear anything too fancy, it's a barbecue. Don't be late." Before Gil headed off, he whispered to his older son, "Matt, pay some attention to Jeff today. He may not look it, but he's nervous."

When Gil was safely out of earshot, Matt sighed and turned to his companions. "I don't know about you two," he sighed. "But I plan to drink very heavily this weekend."

"Count me out," Anna fired back. "I drank enough alcohol in college to last me 'til the next century."

"You're on your own, Matty," Phil added. "Unless, of course, it's Pepsi."

~~~SCWAT~~~

Matt flopped down on the bed in the guest room with an exaggerated sigh. He and his traveling companions had put their things away, Phil was helping with some of the grunt work outside, and Anna had taken off with Amy to Raleigh for a day of pampering. Matt claimed he had a headache and opted to lay down. The tux in question was hanging in the closet, but Matt hadn't tried it on yet. Truth to tell, he really didn't want to be here, but Jeff had asked him to be his best man, and he couldn't turn him down, even though they didn't get along.

_God, get me through this,_ Matt thought. _The sooner this wedding's over, the sooner I can get back to New York and straighten things out with Eve and Mom and Dad Torres-_

"Matty! I need your help!"

Groaning, Matt sat up. "Door's open."

Jeff rushed in, clutching an armload of shirts. "Matty, I need your help. Can you help me pick out something to wear to the rehearsal tonight?"

"Sure."

"You try on the tux?"

"I'm sure it'll be fine."

"Okay." Jeff held up the first shirt, a blue pinstripe Oxford shirt. "First one. Classic, understated, bordering on boring."

"It IS boring."

Jeff giggled. "Next one is Trish's favorite on me." He held up a black bowling shirt with red flame designs on the bottom. "Don't know why. I hate it."

"Why do you still have it if you hate it so much?"

"Bought it on sale at Hot Topic." Jeff huffed. "Matty, I feel like everything about this wedding is all wrong. Trish's all happy and excited and ready to go. Dad's thrilled. But Instead of looking forward to it, I'm kinda dreading it. It's all been so surreal. I can't even decide what to wear!"

Matt had an idea. "Jeff, do you still have that purple shirt you wore to my birthday party last year?" Maybe Jeff caused all sorts of drama at the party, but at least he looked good doing it. "The velvet one. It stands out, it's different, you'd look great in it!"

Jeff contemplated for a moment. "Yeah. With my black jeans and my biker boots and my silver cross – it's perfect! Thanks!" He smiled and hugged Matt, who flinched slightly. Jeff didn't notice. "Matty, I can't wait for you to meet Trish. You'll like her – everyone does. Kinda weird. She's the first girl I ever dated that you don't know."

"Probably because she's the first girl you've dated that I wasn't dating at the time."

Jeff gave his older brother an odd look. "Hmmm. I gotta get ready," he said, after an uncomfortable silence, dashing out of the guest room and leaving Matt alone and deep in thought on the bed.

~~~SCWAT~~~

Dinner was a casual relaxed get-together. There were burgers and brats and ribs slathered in a tangy sauce. There were salads and potatoes and baked beans and chips and veggies with dip. There were cheese cubes and fruit and jell-o and a sheet cake with whipped cream frosting. There was beer and wine and assorted liquor and plenty of soft drinks. It was a fantastic spread and the perfect demonstration of Southern hospitality.

And Matt felt completely out of place.

_What an irony, _thought Matt, somberly. _Neither Phil nor Anna were born here, and they spent less time here combined than I have – Hell, I was born here – and they fit here better than I do._

Quietly he sucked at the Pepsi Phil had given him earlier, watching the scene play out in front of him. Jeff was in conversation with Gil, who paused to give him a hug and a pat on the back. Phil was playing an impromptu game of Hacky-sack with Shannon Moore (his former boss) and some of his former co-workers. Anna, who had started the evening sitting by Matt to keep him company, had gravitated to some of the bridal party, and he couldn't help but hear some of their conversation.

"You've worked at that tattoo place how long, Anna? Two years? I have yet to see a tattoo on you."

"I do have one, Amy. A real classic one," Anna said, as she rolled up the cuff of her baggy jeans. The tattoo of a snake wrapped around a sword with a rose in its teeth graced her ankle.

"Nice! I don't think I ever saw that before. Where'd you get it?"

"I can tell you I got it in Tijuana. Spring Break, can't remember what year, and I can't remember how the hell I got it. Last thing I remembered, I was drinking tequila shots, and then I woke up with this tattoo. At least I chose a nice one."

"It's awful hard to see with those baggy pants you seem to like wearing." Matt recognized the voice as that of Stacy Keibler, another of Anna and Amy's acquaintances.

Anna nibbled on a cheese cube. "Why mess with a classic look?"

"'Cause, the top half of you looks like Kate Moss, and the bottom half of you looks like Kate Smith."

"I can't believe you remember that far back."

"I can't either," Stacy laughed, sipping her iced tea. "Anna, I can't get over how good you look. It just ain't fair. What's your secret?"

"I'm Bradley Cooper's secret girlfriend." The girls laughed. "Seriously, though, it takes a helluva lot of work. I can tell you one thing. I've stayed single." Anna picked a strawberry off of her plate. "No stress, and no commitments, except to yourself."

"I thought Phil was your boyfriend," Stacy said, cocking an eyebrow.

Anna snorted. "He's my roommate, and he's gay."

Amy's voice was serious. "Anna, seriously, you need to start looking."

"Good luck with that," sighed Anna. "All the guys in my life are either gay or already taken."

"What about Matt?" asked Amy. "He looks like a decent catch. And last time I checked, he was single."

_Great,_ Matt silently bitched. _I really wanted to stay as inconspicuous as possible. Less everyone knows about me, the better. In a crowd like this, you say one thing and it winds up turning into something else like a game of Telephone-_

"Matt? _Matt!"_

Matt blinked and realized that Amy was right in his face. "Sorry."

"Matt, how's it possible that you're not dating anyone?"

"Uhh...actually, I am dating someone. Someone really special."

"Really!" Amy smiled.

"Yeah. It's...uh, more than just dating, it's-"

A sharp whistle from Gil caught everyone's attention and saved Matt from an awkward conversation. Everyone looked over to the middle of the yard, where Gil, Jeff and a lovely blonde woman Matt recognized as Trish were standing. "Alright everyone!" announced Gil. "I hope you're all having a good time. Now, in case you're out of town and haven't met her, this is Trish, the lovely young woman who's marrying my Jeff tomorrow." There was a nice round of clapping and cheering, and a brief pause while Jeff leaned over to whisper something in Trish's ear.

"Okay everyone," smiled Trish. "I just want to say thanks all of you for coming out tonight and sharing…well…" She smirked at Jeff. "Our last supper." That was met by generous laughter. "I'm just kidding, Jeff. Anyway, I want to thank all of you guys for coming out to congratulate and support Jeff and me, it really means a lot. I also know that some of you guys had a long drive over here, so if you're too tired to drive home, let us know. We'll make some arrangements for you, 'cause we don't want you driving home sleepy. But in the meantime, dance, eat, drink up, the whole bit."

"Amy," Matt whispered. "You got any aspirin?"

Amy fumbled in her jeans pocket and pulled out two small white pills. Matt swallowed them and washed them down with his Pepsi.

"Those were just aspirin I swallowed, right?"

Amy smirked. "You ask me this after you swallowed them?" she chuckled, before taking her seat.

"Hey, we ain't done yet!" exclaimed Jeff. "I want you all to join me in honoring my older brother Matt on his thirtieth birthday!" That was met by a huge round of applause and hollering. "Okay, one, two, three…"

Everyone broke out in an off-key version of Happy Birthday. Matt put on a brave face and glanced down at his half-empty can of Pepsi. _Maybe when nobody's paying attention, _he thought, _I can find something to put in this to make things a little more tolerable. Rum, perhaps. Maybe vodka. Or Everclear._

**NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR: I'm toying with the ages in this story. Matt's 30. Jeff, Trish, and Anna are 27. Phil's 28.**

**REVIEWS = LOVE**


	3. Chapter 3

_**Chapter Three**_

"Hey Eve," Matt said on his cell phone the next day. He was at Trish's parent's house; the backyard was set up for the upcoming wedding, and guests were taking their seats. "I just wanted to leave you a message in case you checked. There's so much I want to tell you, so much I need to tell you. More importantly, I want to let you know how much I miss you and love you, and..." Matt's voice trailed off when he saw Gil, Jimmy, Anna and Phil approaching him. He wrapped up quickly. "Uh...it's Matt Hardy, by the way, if I didn't say already, and have a nice day." He turned the phone off and hurriedly stuffed it in the pocket of his tuxedo jacket.

Gil cocked his head at his older son. "Who ya' calling?"

Matt chuckled. "Oh, work. Just checking in."

Anna tugged Matt's jacket sleeve. "Matty, it's showtime," she announced, leading him away. "We're needed in the wedding holding area. Let's go."

Matt made eye contact with Phil. "Meet Anna and me at the bar immediately after the ceremony and the pictures."

"Sure."

As Anna and Matt disappeared, Gil and Jimmy turned toward Phil with a curious expression. "So, is Matt seeing anyone right now?" Gil asked.

"Matt? Oh, no." Phil shook his head. "He just has a lot of friends in New York. Hey, I gotta sit down. Talk to you later."

Gil chuckled and turned to his companion. "Guess he and Anna are two of them."

~~~SCWAT~~~

"You may now kiss the bride," announced the pastor after the end of the ceremony.

Jeff smiled and kissed his new wife as the guests cheered and whistled. It had been a lovely wedding, with a color scheme of dark purple and teal green. Trish looked fantastic (as did the bridesmaids in their matching purple lace dresses), and Jeff, Matt and the groomsmen looked sharp in their black tuxes with coordinating teal green bow ties and cummerbunds. The weather was sunny and bright, a perfect early fall day.

The reception got off to a great start. There was plenty of food and drinks to be had, much to the relief of Matt, who took a comfortable seat at the bar. A few beers later, Matt was warm and fuzzy and happy. He even found himself saying hi and engaging in conversation with a few of the guests.

Matt took another sip of his beer and sighed. Maybe, just maybe, this weekend would turn out better than he hoped.

~~~SCWAT~~~

"Thanks, Philly." Anna smiled as she accepted the plastic cup of RC Cola. "I was going to ask you to get me one of these." She held out a small plate. "Salmon canapé?"

"No, thanks. Trying to save my appetite for dinner." Phil shook his head. "Look at you. You eat like a horse, and you're still skinny as a rail."

"Hollow legs. Hey Philly, answer me this. When we're at home, you don't mind when I put the RC on the same shelf in the fridge as the Pepsi."

"That is true."

"But when I put my Coke on that same shelf, you freak out."

"That is also true."

"So, what's the difference between me putting the RC on the Pepsi shelf and me putting the Coke there?"

"Anna, Coke and Pepsi on the same shelf is blasphemy!"

"And RC and Pepsi aren't? Philly, I don't get it. What's the difference?"

"Phil Brooks? Is that you?"

The words, spoken in a drawl that sounded the same way a candied pear tasted, interrupted the bickering. Phil turned and recognized the lovely Southern belle with the Barbie doll hair and megawatt smile. "Kelly? Holy smokes, it's been ages!" He and Kelly hugged and airkissed as Anna looked on politely and sipped her RC. "How are you?"

"I'm fine. Just flew in from Jacksonville last night so I could attend. Haven't seen you since you graduated. What have you been up to?"

"I'm a professional tattoo and pierce artist," Phil explained. "I apprenticed with Shannon and moved to New York two years ago to work up there." A pause. "Where the hell are my manners? Kelly, this is my roommate and best friend, Anna Hollenbeck."

"Hi, Anna. Good to meet you."

"Likewise."

"So, are you Phil's date? You and Phil look awful cute together."

Anna shook her head. "No, we're roommates. It'd be kinda weird."

"Kelly, you don't remember me that well from school, do you? Anna's not my type."

"Oh. Then are you Matt's date? I saw you and him at the bar earlier. You looked really close."

Anna chuckled. "Matt's not my type either. He and I are friends."

"Yeah," joked Phil. "He's not my type, either for that matter."

"What do you mean?" Kelly wondered. Then it hit her. "Oh, wait! Are you…is he…"

"I'm gay," answered Phil. Unfortunately, his answer was drowned out by Kelly and Anna saying "He's gay!" at the same time. To make matters more complicated, Kelly didn't see the thumb that Anna had pointed to her roommate.

Kelly's jaw dropped. "Well, I'll be! No wonder Matt's so uncomfortable. Why didn't you say so in the first place?" She turned on her heel. "Hey, Drew! Tiffany! You've got to hear this about Matt Hardy!"

Phil and Anna both turned pale, and Anna nearly dropped her soda. "No, Kelly!" Phil tried to chase after her, but he lost her in the crowd. "It's not that! What I meant was…oh, crap."

"Uh….Matty!" Anna tried to find Matt in the sea of guests in an attempt at damage control.

But, it was too late. Like a game of telephone, the "rumor" spread, from one guest to another. The entire place was abuzz, and by the time dinner rolled around, some of the guests were looking at Matt funny. Matt, by this time, was too relaxed and buzzed to notice. In fact, he was the only one at the head table smiling when the photographer took a picture of the wedding party. Jeff, Gil, Amy, Shannon, Stacy and Trish were looking over at him suspiciously. Phil and Anna looked embarrassed.

~~~SCWAT~~~

After dinner was over, Shannon clinked his water glass to get everyone's attention. "To show everyone just how gaga Jeff is over Trish," he began. "I thought I'd share a little story with y'all."

Matt leaned over to Phil. "It's weird. Drew McIntyre asked me if I exfoliated."

"Uh…I can explain. Later."

"Anyway," Shannon continued. "If you've been to this club, you'll know that the dancers there can be pretty skanky. But on this particular night, there was a dancer there who was smokin' hot."

Matt whispered to Phil, "And Amy asked me if I'd listened to the new Adam Lambert CD."

"Do you mind?" snapped a female voice close to the head table.

Anna glanced over her shoulder. "Oh, sorry. We didn't know you found this skank speech so compelling," she snapped back. "We'll be good."

"Anyway," Shannon said. "No matter how many times we offered to pay for a lap dance, Jeff said no. And I think I can speak for all of Jeff's family and friends when I say that Jeff and Trish are a real special couple." He burped, and the audience laughed. "Well, I guess I'll turn this over to someone who won't embarrass you, Jeff. Your best man. Your brother, Matt."

Silence. Then Jeff said, "Come on, Matty."

There was a smattering of applause when Matt stood up out of his seat. Now that he wasn't as buzzed, he noticed that all eyes were on him. And it made him feel uncomfortable.

Taking a deep breath, he said, "Jeffy, Jeffy, Jeffy. Y'know, I wish I had some magical brotherly advice I could give you, but um…you probably wouldn't take it." A few chuckles from the audience. "Umm, Jeff…you and I have always been so different. Even as kids, I liked the swings, and you liked the monkey bars. At lunch, you'd get a taco, and I'd have a hot dog. Well, what I'm trying to say is…those differences, they're good. And the unexpected, well that's really good too. Like…I never thought you'd marry someone like Trish. I mean…she's an awesome girl. I just wouldn't have…"

The place had gone silent. Matt realized he was babbling and tried to recover. "Oh, God. What I mean is…you're expecting a Christmas gift, and comes in a plain brown paper wrapper, and you're not sure you're gonna like it, but you open it, and it's great! You, you just needed to see what was inside, and—"

A young man Matt recognized but couldn't remember the name of jumped from his table. "Mike's my unexpected Christmas gift!" he announced, beaming, as his faux-hawked significant other stood up. "For three years!"

"Yeah!" Faux-hawk threw his arm around his partner. "Alex and I are gay!"

As a murmur rose from the wedding guests, and Alex and Mike kissed, Matt felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. Something told him that Phil, and maybe Anna, had some explaining to do in the morning. But for now, he felt like crawling into the nearest hole he could find and disappearing.

**NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR: I hope the ending to this chapter didn't suck too much. If it did, I apologize! BTW, Kelly, Phil's high school acquaintance, is Kelly Kelly, and the couple is Alex Riley and Mike Mizanin. I was going to do Michael Cole and Alex for shock value, but after Cole's tweet concerning Josh Matthews on Saturday, I decided to stay as far away from that prick as possible.**

***Smacks Cole with rolled-up newspaper* Bad Cole! Go to your room!**

**REVIEWS = LOVE**


	4. Chapter 4

_**Chapter Four**_

A knock on the guest bedroom door dragged Matt out of a sound sleep. Groaning, he pried his eyes open and winced at the too-bright light that poured in from the window. "Come in," he croaked, clutching his pounding head.

Gil entered the bedroom, a cup of coffee in his hand. "Thought you might like one of these."

"Thanks," Matt struggled to sit up, and then accepted the steaming cup.

"There's some evaporated milk in it."

"Perfect." Matt blew gently on the coffee to cool it, and then took a few careful sips. "Dad, about my speech last night. I know I made a complete ass of myself, and I'm really, really sorry-"

Gil held up a hand to shush his son. "Matt, let me say what I came in here to say first. Then I think you'll want to talk to Jeff."

"Okay," Matt nodded.

Gil sat at the foot of Matt's bed. "Matt, I may not be the best communicator, or dad, for that matter. Believe me, when your mom passed away, it was a challenge raising you and your brother, but I did it. I did the best I could. I see the world in a certain way, Matt, and I'm kinda set in my ways. But I know that regardless of the choices one makes, or the life one leads, you have to respect them. You can't shut them out. Now, I may not understand this, and I may not approve entirely of it, but I'm gonna do my best and keep an open mind. You're my son after all, and that will never change. I just want you to be happy."

Matt cocked an eyebrow. "You know about my relationship?"

Gil nodded. "Wedding planner told me."

"Dad, it's not like I didn't want to tell you," Matt set his coffee cup on the nightstand. "Really, I did! I was just afraid you wouldn't accept it."

"How's your partner's family taking it?"

"They treat me like I'm part of the family."

"That's good. Makes it a lot easier to deal with, I suppose. Now, how serious are the two of you?"

"We want to get married."

"That's gonna be difficult, Matt. I don't think you could find a pastor or reverend who would be willing to marry you two."

"We've already talked about it, Dad. If push comes to shove, we'll find a justice of the peace so we can make it legal. Then we'll have a celebration and make it formal."

"I really hope the two of you know what you're doing." Gil stood up. "I've seen a lot in my years, Matt. And I taught you and Jeff a lot. One of those things is to respect people's differences, especially within the family. And it would be a disservice to you and Jeff if I didn't practice what I preach." A sigh. "I'm not one for long lectures, Matt, but...whatever you do, as long as you're a good man, and a kind man, and an honest man...well, I think that's all that matters."

Matt nodded and smiled slightly. "Uhhh...thanks, Dad."

"You're welcome." Gil patted his son on the back. "You better get dressed now and talk to your brother." As he turned and left, he chuckled. "Somehow, I knew one of my boys was gay, and for the longest time I thought it was Jeff. Guess I had my boys confused."

Matt's eyes widened in shock as Gil closed the door behind him.

~~~SCWAT~~~

Matt yanked the pillow out from under Phil's head. "Phil, why does my dad think I'm gay?"

Phil blinked away the cobwebs and sat up in his bed. "Uh, I don't know," he squeaked. Angrily, Matt smacked him with the pillow.

"Hey!" exclaimed Phil. He sighed and raked his hair. "Okay. Kelly from high school, with an inconceivable lack of perception, misunderstood Anna and me and told everyone at the reception that you were gay."

Matt's jaw dropped in shock. _"Everyone thinks I'm gay?"_

Phil looked sheepish. "Uh...yeah." He paused, and a smile tweaked across his lips. "But really, Matty, it's not so bad. Think of how grateful they'll all be when they see that your significant other has boobs and a vag, rather than a twig and berries!"

Matt smacked Phil with the pillow again and stomped out of the room in a huff.

Phil lay down and folded his arms behind his head. "Of course," he sighed to himself. I'd rather have a nice set of abs. A nice set of flat, hard, washboardy abs...yum."

~~~SCWAT~~~

By the time Matt finished his shower, got dressed and stepped outside, Jeff was outside putting his suitcases into his waiting car (he and Trish were heading off on their honeymoon).

"Hey, Jeff," Matt called out. Jeff whipped his head around. "We need to talk."

"I'm busy," Jeff said in a tight voice. "Make it quick. Trish and I wanna get to the airport three hours before our flight."

Matt approached his brother. "Jeff?"

"What?" Jeff snapped angrily.

"I'm not gay."

Jeff put his suitcase down and glared at his older brother. "Do you know how hard it was for Trish and I to find a wedding planner willing to work with our color scheme of teal and dark purple?" he spat. "It took us nearly a month to find one. Trish's dress had antique lace on it that belonged to her grandmother. The cake was lemon poppyseed with raspberry filling, and we _both_ made sure it was whipped cream frosting and not that god-awful buttercream stuff. It was supposed our special day, but anyone compliment the color scheme, or Trish's dress, or say how yummy the cake was? _Noooo!_ _All anyone could talk about was that my older brother is gay!"_

"But Jeff! I'm not gay!"

Jeff cocked his head like the RCA dog listening to the Victrola. "What are you talking about?"

"I'm not gay, Jeff. Anna and Phil said that."

"Why would they do that?"

"Well, they didn't actually do it."

Jeff gasped. "Did you put them up to it to wreck my wedding?"

Matt's eyes widened. "No!"

Jeff smacked the hood of his car. _"You did it on purpose!"_

_"Jeff, no!"_

_"You knew how important this day was to me, and you deliberately wrecked it!"_

Matt couldn't help himself. _"Well, I had every reason to, especially after the stunt you pulled at my birthday party last year! But if I really wanted to ruin your wedding, I sure as hell wouldn't have put my two best friends up to starting some ridiculous rumor that I'm gay!"_

After a painful silence, Jeff looked down at his shoes. When he spoke, his voice was small and hurt. "My God, Matty. Do you really hate me that much?"

Matt felt like he'd been hit with a board. He thought he could have a few words with Jeff and smooth everything over, maybe have a good laugh over it. But that wasn't going to be. _I have to fix this and fast, _he realized.

"I don't hate you, Jeff," he began. "I know we haven't gotten along for a while, but I don't hate you. And I have a confession to make. It's true"

Jeff glanced up. "What's true?"

Against his better judgement, Matt said, "I'm gay."

Jeff cocked an eyebrow. "Then why would you say-"

"Because it's a hard thing to admit," sighed Matt. "I mean, it's really new to me, and I'm...I'm just getting used to the idea myself."

"Matty!" Jeff threw his arms around his older brother. "I'm so sorry."

"You know, maybe it's just a phase-"

"No, Matty. I'm not sorry you're gay. I'm sorry you were afraid to tell me."

Matt broke away from Jeff's embrace. "Jeff, it's okay-"

"No it's not. I'm your brother, and you were afraid to tell me the truth. I'm just really happy you can be honest with me now. Boy, this really explains a lot." He paused to kiss Trish, who had stepped out of the house with her own suitcases. "Matty, when we get back from Hawaii, I really wanna talk." another pause, and Jeff's eyes lit up. "How about I come to New York to see you?"

Matt looked shellshocked for a second, then recovered. "Okay, great! We'll talk about it. But right now, you don't need to think about it. Just enjoy Trish and your honeymoon." He sighed. "Jeff, things are gonna be different when you get back."

"Matty you don't have to soften it for me. I'm okay with it, really I am. We both let time and distance get between us, but I really wanna change that."

Matt smiled. "So do I."

"Awesome!" Jeff hugged his brother again. "So, who's your...boyfriend? What's his name?"

Matt blurted out the first thing that came to mind. "Uh, Adam. His name's Adam."

"I can't wait to meet him!" Jeff put the last of his bags into the trunk of the car. "I can't wait to meet him, and learn all about your lifestyle."

"Careful, Honey." Trish interrupted. "Don't put that bag there. You'll crush my hatbox."

"Sorry, Babe." Jeff rearranged his suitcase, and then shut the trunk lid. "Have a safe trip home, Matty. Love you."

"Love you back."

Matt watched his brother and new wife drive away, waving until the car was a little speck in the distance. Behind him, Phil stepped out onto the porch with a cup of coffee in his hand. Deciding that this was a bad time to interrupt, he ducked back inside and shut the door.

**REVIEWS = LOVE**


	5. Chapter 5

_**Chapter Five**_

"What a long-ass weekend this has been," Phil sighed, as the cab rolled down the street. It was Sunday night, and he, Matt and Anna had just returned to New York City. He turned to Matt, questioning. "Matt, when are you gonna stop punishing us."

"I don't know," answered Matt, coolly. "What's the statute of limitations for outing a straight man to his entire family?"

"Matty, we tried to stop it, really we did," Anna chimed in. "It just spun out of control."

"And besides," Phil pointed out. "You must admit that they took it surprisingly well. As well as my family. In fact, I introduced my mom to JoMo, and they hit it off."

Matt cocked an eyebrow. "JoMo? I thought you and Cena were still an item."

"Not anymore. Believe me, I don't wanna do 'on again' anytime soon. JoMo's my new boyfriend."

"JoMo?"

"John Morrison. JoMo's his nickname."

"Why haven't I met him?"

"He's still too new yet. But so far, he's fantastic. Handsome, charming, kind, funny, passionate-"

"And one helluva cook," Anna cut in. "For an underwear model who uses his looks for his livelihood, he's remarkably domestic. By the way, we're inviting you and Eve over for dinner in a couple of weeks. JoMo's cooking."

Matt smiled. "Sounds nice."

"So, are you still mad at us?" Phil asked.

"Nnnnnn...yeah." Matt paused. "But thanks to you, I'm a rock star in Mike and Alex's eyes."

"Sweet!" Phil high-fived his roommate, and then smiled over at Matt reassuringly. "Matty, you're gonna straighten everything out, okay?"

Matt nodded. "Y'know, it was the most honest and real and open conversation I've had with my family in years. Even if it was all lies."

~~~SCWAT~~~

_**Two Weeks Later...**_

John Morrison loved Phil and Anna's kitchen. It was open and spacious, the appliances were simple and straightforward, and everything was in easy reach. This made it easy for him to cook, which was one of his greatest passions.

Michael Buble played on the iPod touch he'd hooked up to the speakers in the kitchen. John (JoMo to everyone) crushed two big cloves of garlic into the olive oil he'd heated up in the large skillet. "Some day, when I'm awfully low, when the world is cold," he sang to himself, as he sauteed the garlic, then added chopped onions. "I will feel a glow just thinking of you..."

When the onions were caramelized, he opened the big can of crushed roma tomatoes he'd set on the counter and drained them. "And the way you look tonight," he continued, as he poured the tomatoes into his pan. He stirred the mixture up with a wooden spoon, and added some tomato paste he'd squeezed out of a tube.

"Yes you're lovely, with your smile so warm and your cheeks so soft," he sang, adding some fresh chopped basil, and pouring in some red wine (non-alcoholic, of course). "There is nothing for me but to love you, and the way you look tonight."

The kitchen phone rang as he was adding salt, pepper, and some secret ingredients. "Hello? Hey, Matty. Front door's open, I'll buzz you in. Come up if you dare. Muwahahahahahaha."

He chuckled and hung the phone up just as Phil sneaked up from behind. "JoMo, tell me," he purred. "Do we have enough pasta? Enough for you and me, and Anna, and Matt, and Eve?"

JoMo turned and kissed Phil. _"Si, Cara Mia."_

Phil broke from the embrace and picked up some pasta out of the pot on the stove using a fork, and then tossed it. It landed on the wall, next to several other strands. "How much pasta can we throw against the wall and still have enough?"

JoMo laughed. "It's done. And so are you," he said, giving Phil a smack on the butt. "Now, go. You're banished from your kitchen."

"Hey, Phil!" called out Anna. "Help me set the table."

Phil gave JoMo a puppy dog expression.

"Go, Philly!" As Phil made a graceful exit from his kitchen, JoMo studied the pasta on the wall and nodded. "Good thing I made a double batch."

~~~SCWAT~~~

Anna opened the front door and smiled. "Matt, Eve, hi! You're just in time!"

Matt gave Anna a peck on the cheek. "Flowers are for you," he said, handing her the small but tasteful arrangement he was holding. He held up a six-pack of glass bottles. "Pepsi is for Phil."

"Dad sells this at the bakery," Eve pointed out. "It's the one with the real sugar, not the one with the corn syrup stuff."

"Phil's gonna love you! Come on in." Holding the flowers, Anna walked into the apartment. Eve and Matt followed. "You can put your coats in my room."

"Hi, Guys,"

Matt smiled. "Hi, Phil"

"And you leave me all alone to set the table," Phil grumbled, good-naturedly. "Thanks a lot, Anna."

"Boo-hoo." Anna set the flowers down on the neatly set table and put the Pepsi in the fridge. "Be careful, Philly. I don't want you straining yourself putting the forks on the table." Phil shot her a dirty look.

"Hi, Matt. Hi, Eve," JoMo called out. "Can't leave the sauce right now. It's in a fragile state. Make yourselves at home."

"Already JoMo thinks this is his home away from home," Anna chuckled.

"What if he and Phil get serious?" wondered Eve, as she and Matt followed Anna down the hall. "Where would you go?"

"Already got that taken care of. Daffney at the tattoo shop would love for me to move in with her. She's already penciled me in as her next roommate, so it's all good."

~~~SCWAT~~~

"The thing is, to do this properly," Phil explained later at the dinner table. "You guys are gonna need about nine months of preparation."

Eve laughed. "Phil, we're planning a wedding, not a birth."

"That's my point. A wedding is kinda like a birth."

"It's the start of a whole new life together," Anna chimed in, handing JoMo the butter.

"If it was up to Matt," Eve said, "We'd run off Vegas and get married in the Hunka Burnin' Love Chapel."

"Thank you, thank you very much," Matt said, in a decent Elvis impersonation. Everyone at the table chuckled. "But really, that's not true."

"Matt," JoMo said, gesturing with his fork, "If you decide to wait the full 9 months, you'd be heading into August. You'll have to worry about the weather, if it'll be too hot and humid for an outdoor wedding-"

Matt suddenly snapped. "Guys, can we not talk about the wedding? Ever since this happened, it feels like this is the only thing we ever talk about!"

A tense silence as Anna, Eve, Phil and JoMo stared at Matt incredulously.

Matt blushed and glanced down, ashamed at his outburst. Glancing up sheepishly, he said, "Guys, I'm sorry. And Eve, I'm really sorry."

"It's okay, Honey. I know you are."

JoMo stood up slowly. "Uhh, I'm gonna get the coffee started."

"Coffee sounds good," Matt said, getting up as well. "I need to go use the bathroom. I'll be back."

Anna got up and took the empty plates off the table to put in the kitchen sink.

Finally, Phil and Eve were the only two at the table. "So, what's going on with you two," Phil ventured carefully.

"I don't know," Eve sighed. "He's been acting awfully weird the past few days. Would you by chance know who Jeff in Kona is?"

"No. But I did see Gidget Goes Hawaiian the other day on Turner Movie Classics."

"Seriously," Eve said, "He had three messages on his answering machine from this Jeff guy. I asked Matt about them, and he got kinda defensive."

JoMo reappeared. "Coffee's brewing. Where'd you put the pie?"

Phil cocked an eyebrow. "Pie?"

"Yeah." Eve smiled. "Dad made us a caramel apple pie for dessert. It's to die for. I thought Matt put it on the kitchen counter."

"Maybe I didn't look hard enough. I'll go back in and look a little closer."

"Hey Eve," Anna called out from the hallway. "I've got a couple of tops that are too big on me, but they might fit you. Come and take a look at them." Eve got up and followed Anna, leaving Phil and JoMo alone.

Leaning over, JoMo whispered, "Phil, Matt's in the bathroom and he looks a little upset. Why don't you go check on him."

"Good idea."

~~~SCWAT~~~

Phil knocked on the bathroom door. "Matt, you okay?"

"Yeah. Come in."

Phil opened the door and stepped inside. "What's the matter?"

"I put the pie in Anna's bedroom,"Matt sighed.

Phil chuckled. "She needs it more than us anyhow."

Matt leaned up against the sink. "Jeff wants to come out to visit."

"Is that all?"

"He wants to meet Adam?"

"Adam? Who's Adam?"

"My 'boyfriend' Adam."

Phil frowned. "How'd you come up with a boyfriend named Adam?"

"I just blurted out the name. I don't know where I came up with it. Adam and Eve, I guess."

'So I can safely assume you haven't told Jeff yet."

Matt raked his hands through his hair. "He's been just crazy supportive and sweet. It's like he has this need to be there for me. I don't wanna break his heart by telling him I've been lying to him."

"You have to tell the truth sooner than later, Matt." Phil's voice was matter of fact. "Not just to Jeff, but to Eve. She asked me who Jeff in Kona was."

Matt's eyes widened in shock.

"Don't freak," Phil chuckled. "I played the movie card so I wouldn't have to answer the question."

Matt sighed in relief. "Phil, it's not like I'm trying to forestall the inevitable. I've been trying to tell Eve. A couple nights ago, we were watching TV. I said the show's over and my brother isn't dead. But she was in the kitchen making a sandwich, and she thought I said the ketchup's really red."

Phil laughed. "That's weird."

"Eve looked at me funny. We had a good laugh, and...I lost my nerve."

"Matty, Matty, Matty. This is getting more and more convoluted by the day. How to tell Eve that you've been lying to her for over three months, and how to tell Jeff that you started a false rumor at his wedding."

"You and Anna started it!" spat Matt.

"Whatever. Eventually, you'll have to tell Eve. She's gonna wonder who all those people are sitting on your side of the aisle." Phil paused. "But, with Jeff, he might not ever have to know. Why does he ever have to know that you lied?"

"Enlighten me."

"Just tell Jeff you broke up with Adam. Say it was a phase and you're back to dating women."

Just before Matt could say anything, Eve knocked on the bathroom door. "Everything okay in there?"

"Oh, yeah," Matt said. "The spaghetti sauce for some reason gave me heartburn. I'll be out in a couple minutes."

"Oh, save room for dessert," Anna announced from the hallway. "We found the pie. But how'd it wind up on my dresser?"

"How long were they out there?" Matt gasped in horror, after the girls had left.

"The bathroom's practically soundproof. It's cool."

"Anyway, Jeff's fascinated by the very idea of Adam. Even if I say we broke up, Jeff'll still wanna meet him."

Phil smirked. "Then we hire you a boyfriend."

"Excuse me?"

"We hire someone to play your boyfriend, or your ex-boyfriend. Jeff'll meet him, he'll go home happy, then you say you broke up with him because it was a phase, and now you're back with women. He'll never know you lied. It's genius!" Phil paused. "We've been in this bathroom long enough. Let's go have dessert."

With those final words, Phil exited the bathroom. Matt sighed and looked at himself in the mirror, saying only three words:

"Dumbest idea ever."

**NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR: I guess I'm partial to a domestic JoMo. The song he's singing is "The Way You Look Tonight," originally sung by Frank Sinatra, and sung in this story by Michael Buble. I had the Chase Bank commercial on my mind when I was writing this, you know, the one with the bitch wife spending her husbands credit card points on a dress when he was planning to use them on a vacation together. The song was in the commercial.**

**REVIEWS = LOVE**


	6. Chapter 6

_**Chapter Six**_

"Matt, what's going on?" asked Eve, as Matt walked her home later that evening.

"Well, Anna put a can of Coke on Phil's Pepsi shelf, and Phil had a freakout. Sometimes I think she does that on purpose-"

"No, I don't wanna hear about Anna and Phil and the Pepsi drama. I wanna hear about you."

Matt tensed up slightly. He knew he'd been acting strangely as of late, and it was getting more and more difficult to keep cool. "You really wanna talk about this now?"

"Yes. I really do."

Matt approached a bus stop bench and sat down, inviting Eve to follow. He sighed. "Eve, I really don't know how to tell you this-"

Eve's voice was soft but firm. "Just say it."

Matt sighed and raked his hands through his hair. "Eve, I don't want you to hate me."

Eve put a gentle hand on Matt's shoulder. "Matty, the only thing I can't tolerate is you lying to me. Anything else, we can work through it." A pause. "It's Jeff, isn't it? Jeff from Kona?"

Matt's voice was very small. "Yeah."

"Something going on?"

"Yeah." Matt paused. "Wait. What do you think is going on?"

Eve cocked an eyebrow. "I don't know. Why don't you tell me?"

Matt chewed on his bottom lip. "Okay. But first of all, I didn't mean for any of this to happen. It's just something that got completely out of hand."

"Did you have sex with him?"

Matt's stomach flopped. "What?"

"Matty, be honest."

"No! Oh, my God, NO!" exclaimed Matt. "It never, ever got to that point! He's..." Matt clutched at his hair. "Oh, my God! This is such a trainwreck!"

Matt's heart pounded furiously, and he stared at his fiancee fearfully. For a moment, he thought that Eve would break off the engagement, maybe throw the ring at him and walk off alone. _Lord knows I deserve it at this point, _Matt thought miserably.

But to his surprise, Eve smiled and stroked his cheek gently. Her voice was kind. "Matty, whatever it is you're going through, we'll work it out. I promise I won't walk away."

Matt sighed in relief. "Why do you wanna marry me?"

"Is that what this is about?" Eve asked, puzzled.

"Eve, clearly I'm insane!" Matt sighed. "Or at the very least, I drive you crazy. And you know something else? Marriages don't work out anyway these days. Even if they do," he babbled, "One of us will pass away before the other, and then you're all alone!"

Eve laughed softly. "Matty all I know is that three and a half months ago, my heart was hijacked by a beautiful pair of dark eyes and a killer smile. You're handsome, you're sexy, you're charming, you're passionate...you may be a little crazy sometimes, but you drive me crazy too. In a good way."

Matt smiled softly and pulled Eve into his arms. Eve's words were just what he needed to hear at the moment. "I love you very much, Eve."

"I love you back," she said, as their lips met in a kiss.

~~~SCWAT~~~

"Here you go," said the waitress as she set down a plate of chocolate chip pancakes covered in strawberries and whipped cream in front of Anna two days later. Matt, Anna and Phil were at their favorite diner (JoMo was already at work and couldn't join them).

Matt goggled at the huge breakfast. "Anna, that is not breakfast. That's pornography on a plate! Those pancakes are the size of a hubcap. How do you eat those?"

Anna smiled and picked up a fork. "Easy. I start at the center, work my way out, and make two Michelins."

"And I eat the rest," finished Phil, picking up his own fork.

The three of them eat their breakfast in comfortable silence. Then, Phil finally spoke. "So you chickened out with Eve, I take it?"

Matt nodded. "She thinks I had a gay fling."

Phil shook his head and rolled his eyes. "You have to tell her," he said, his voice matter-of-fact. "There's no two ways around it. You have to tell her now."

"I know. But she went to LA this morning for a photo shoot."

"Matt," Anna ventured, after finishing another bite of pancake, "At the risk of sending you hurtling towards the ragged edge of disaster, how are things with you and Jeff?"

Matt sipped at his coffee. "I'm running out of excuses to keep him from visiting. So far, Adam's been promoted, out of town and sick."

"So, have you given any more thought to my Rent-a-boyfriend idea?" Phil asked, spearing a strawberry and putting it in his mouth.

Matt laughed softly. "Even if i did decide to hire a boyfriend, which I still think is a dumb idea, it's not like a gay man's gonna drop out of the sky-"

Just after Matt uttered those words, a commotion startled him and his companions. They all looked up in time to see a tall, blonde haired man fall off a ladder and crash to the floor with a shout.

"Holy Crap!" exclaimed Matt. "Are you okay?"

"Owie!" the blonde groaned. "Floor hard. Floor very hard."

"Poor thing," said Phil, as the blonde man winced in pain and tried to catch his breath. He offered a hand to the fallen blonde, but it was gently dismissed.

"It's okay," gasped the blonde. "Don't get up."

~~~SCWAT~~~

"Here, why don't you sit down," said Matt, as he helped the injured man to an old plaid couch. He and his friends had managed to get the man—who, by sheer coincidence, happened to be named Adam—back to his walk-up apartment above the diner.

"Thanks," signed Adam, gratefully.

Anna fumbled in her purse for the bottle of Motrin she kept there and shook some pills into Adam's hand. "Here, take these."

"That's an awful lot of pills." He paused and then called out to Matt, "There's bottled water in the fridge if you wanna get me one."

"If you take four of these," Anna pointed out, "It's the equivalent of one prescription dose."

"You're not hurt too bad, are you?" wondered Phil.

"No," Adam chuckled, and then swallowed the pills, washing them down with a swig out of the bottled water Matt brought him. "My back hurts a little, and my butt's kinda sore, but nothing serious. Thanks for helping me upstairs."

"Sure. What were you doing up on that ladder?"

"I was rewiring a light fixture."

"Really. Are you an electrician?"

"Apprentice electrician. I'm also an artist."

"Jack of all trades?" asked Matt.

"Not quite."

A brief silence passed before a knowing smile creased Phil's lips. "I have a question for you. How would you like to earn some extra money?"

Adam studied Phil, Matt and Anna for a moment. "I can always use a few extra dollars. What kinda work are you looking for?"

"We need to hire a boyfriend," Anna said.

"Sorry, I don't exactly swing that way-"

"Oh, no. Not for me," Anna pointed at Matt. "For him."

Adam and Matt stared at each other. After a very uncomfortable silence, Adam sighed, "Oooohhhhkaaayy. I may regret asking this, but what do you want me to do?"

**REVIEWS = LOVE**


	7. Chapter 7

**NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR: Whew! Took me a while to find enough time to bang out a chapter. Enjoy!**

_**Chapter Seven**_

"This ginger chicken's fantastic," Anna said, gesturing with her chopsticks. "Anyway, I don't understand why everyone's so _gung-ho_ over the iPad." What started out as helping Adam back to his apartment after his mishap turned into friendly conversation and wound up becoming lunch as Matt and his friends decided to order Chinese takeout.

"All they are is an iPod Touch on steroids," Adam said in agreement. "Y'know, I've got a buddy who can hack into those e-readers and put the Android OS on them.

"No way," Phil exclaimed, before finishing his last piece of beef lo mein.

"Actually, you can hack them," Matt chimed in. "They work almost like iPads. And they're a helluva lot cheaper."

Phil glanced at his watch. "Uh, guys. Anna and I have to leave for work. We've got the late shift."

"Are you sure?" Anna questioned, before looking at the clock on the wall. "Holy crap, you're right!" she gasped, as she and Phil stood up and gathered their things. "We have to be there in a half-hour. Matty, we're taking off. Our cell phones are on. If you need anything, call. Just make sure it's during our break time."

"Sure," Matt grinned. "Bye guys."

Phil headed out the door, Anna following close behind. "Good meeting you, Adam."

"Likewise, Phil. I guess we'll be seeing each other again, huh?"

"I hope so. Goodbye, my lovelies."

Matt and Adam laughed as Phil and his roommate left. After a moment of surprisingly comfortable silence, Matt turned to Adam. "You have any coffee left?"

"Enough for one more cup for the each of us, then I'll have to make another pot."

"I swear, if I didn't start my day with some sort of caffeine and end it with something chocolate, I'd snap."

"Chocolate, huh?" Adam's eyes twinkled. "Dark or milk?"

"Dark."

"Me too. It just tastes better." Another pause. "Hey Matt, I wanna show you something."

~~~SCWAT~~~

"Okay Matt, duck your head. Watch your step," Adam instructed as he led Matt onto the roof of his apartment building. The building was topped with a scaffolding upon which a billboard was perched. "Okay, we're here. Climb up."

Gingerly, Matt climbed onto the little bench under the billboard. He gazed out across the landscape and looked down at the cars driving on the street below. "Wow, this view's incredible."

"Isn't it?"

"It's a whole different place up here." marveled Matt. "I'm looking down and it reminds me of the little Hot Wheels cars on the toy racetrack."

"It's my special place," Adam said. "If I get really stressed out or uninspired, I come up here and get away for a while. Y'know, when I was younger, my dream house was a little loft apartment that looked out over the street below, with a bunch of shops and restaurants, and people. So that way, I could still be part of the action and part of the world, but know that I could go back inside and feel secure and safe when I needed it."

"So did you get your dream house?"

"In a way, yeah. I did." Adam paused. "You're not from around here, are you?"

"Neither are you, I can tell."

"My voice gives me away all the time. I'm from Canada. Toronto."

"North Carolina."

"I kinda guessed you were from the South. You and your friends have a bit of a twang in your voices. I thought at first you guys were from Georgia."

"You were way off. So, why'd you chose to go to New York?"

"The diversity, I guess. It inspires me." Adam sighed. "This place is such a mix of cultures and languages and stories and ethnicities. Best example of that is a ride in the subway to see a Mets game. You just look around and sitting across from you is a kid with purple hair and tats and tons of piercings-"

"Sounds like one of Phil's customers!" laughed Matt., and Adam joined in.

"Anyway, to your left is a pair of guys who are happy and cuddling and obviously in love," Adam continued. "Then in front of you is a guy who just got out of jail and is now on parole. And way in the back is a 20-year old mom with three kids and she's trying to keep them all in line.

"Then sometimes, you can walk an entire block in Times Square and not hear anyone speak English. All sorts of languages and dialects. Chinese, Korean, Vietnamese, Hindi, Russian, Spanish, German, Italian. It's almost like music when you listen to them all, it just a rhythm and a heart all its own. It makes you think of what kinds of stories those people could tell. And you wonder what brought them here, and how they got here, and what kind of lives they lead."

"So I guess to see the world, you don't have to circle the globe. You can just go to New York."

Adam smiled. "Just about."

"So you're an artist, huh?"

"I am. I paint."

"What kinds of paintings do you do?"

"It's a communal project. I work with a groups of artists. We paint a huge canvas. Different colors, different mediums, different styles. Then we cut up the canvas, and we sell the individual pictures to art galleries and the general public."

"Really. Never heard of anything like that before."

"Now you have."

"you make any money off the pictures?"

"You'd be surprised at how much some of our work goes for."

"Y'know, my brother Jeff's an artist."

"Really?"

"He's a painter, like you."

"And your friend Phil's an artist, too."

"Tattoo artist, but yeah." A pause. "For some reason, I have a lot of friends who are artistically inclined. Adam, you'd really like my brother. You and Jeff would have a lot in common."

"What, are you trying to play matchmaker now?" joked Adam. "I'm supposed to be _your_ boyfriend, Matt."

Matt chuckled. "Hey, I really appreciate you doing this for me."

"Hey, it's extra money, and besides, I like your friends. They seem pretty cool." Adam smiled. "Matt, I know this really nice place we can go to and talk. We can't go there right now because I have to finish with the light fixtures, but we can go tonight. Maybe get to know each other a little better. You game?"

"Yeah. I'm game."

"Cool. I suck at directions, but I'll give you the address and you can Mapquest it. Meet me at seven tonight?"

"Okay."

Adam grinned. "I think this may turn out to be fun. Let's get back down."

~~~SCWAT~~~

When Matt arrived at Cafe Grumpy at seven that night, the place was already packed. Impatiently, Matt scanned the bustling crowd in search of the now familiar blonde head. _I know I Mapquested this address_, he thought, glancing at his cell phone. _So Adam's gotta be here._

Another scan through the crowd turned up nothing, and Matt decided that Adam hadn't shown up yet. _Okay, _he thought, as he pulled out his wallet. _I'll just get in line and get something to drink, and maybe Adam will show up-_

"Matt! Matt! Woo-hoo!"

Matt glanced up and saw Adam right next to him. "Hey, Adam."

"You made it," Adam smiled. "You find the place okay?"

"Oh, yeah. Dad Torres's bakery is a couple blocks away. It was easy to find. Can you find us a table? I wanna get something, and the line's kinda long."

Adam ushered Matt out of the line and down a small hallway. The hall opened up to tables, chairs, and a big comfy-looking gray couch. "We already got that taken care of."

"We?"

"I brought a couple of friends along." Adam gestured towards the couch. Two young men sat on the couch, their drinks on the coffee table in front of them. One was slightly shorter than Adam, with bright blue eyes and tied-back strawberry blonde hair. His companion was the same size as well, with a boyish-looking face and freckles across the bridge of his nose. "Matt, this is Jay and Evan, my two best friends in the world," he introduced, sitting down on the couch. "Jay, Evan, this is my new friend, Matt."

Matt took a seat on the couch."Hi. Nice to meet you."

"Same here." Jay's smile was slow and genuine. "Adam's told us a little about you already," he said, before he took a slurp from his iced latte.

Evan grinned and moved his stuff out of the way. "Hi, Matt. I love your shirt. The purple color's gorgeous. Where'd you get it?"

Matt blushed slightly. "Oh, this? If you can believe it, a lady friend of mine found it for me at the Goodwill on West 79th Street."

Jay widened his eyes. "No way!"

"Dead serious. Anna gets most of her stuff at Goodwill and the Walmart in Elizabeth."

"Kinda sucks when you have to go out of state to do your shopping," said Evan. "Does your lady friend shop at H&M?"

"I don't know. I'll have to ask her."

"They've got a buy one, get one free sale going on. Jay and I shop there all the time. Tell her it's really nice stuff for really cheap."

"I will." Matt noticed the ceramic cup topped with whipped cream and sprinkles in front of him. "Is that for me?"

Jay nodded. "Addy says you start each day with caffeine and end it with something chocolate. So we got you a mochaccino."

"Decaf of course," Adam chimed in. "We don't want you so wound up, you can't sleep..."

~~~SCWAT~~~

"...Well, I just texted Anna with your phone number," Matt said, putting away his iPhone. A couple of hours had passed, and he found himself talking and laughing and swapping stories with Adam and his friends. "Whether or not she calls you back is totally up to her."

"If she can jailbreak my iPod Touch, that would be fantastic." Jay answered back. "Evan doesn't have the patience. He can only do so much before he wants to pull my hair out."

"Wouldn't you mean, he'd want to pull his hair out?" Matt asked.

"No, he wants to pull my hair out because I keep pestering him to fix my iTouch. I drive him insane."

Adam laughed. "He's terrible!"

"Agreed," sighed Evan, as Jay stuck his tongue out at him, getting a punch in the arm in return.

"Don't make me separate you two," Matt chuckled.

"Hey, it's cool." Evan glanced at his watch and looked up at Jay. "Hey, Babe. We need to get home. Naruto's gonna be on in twenty minutes and you know how I get when I miss it."

"Like me and the Big Bang Theory." said Jay. He and his boyfriend stood up and put their coats on. "Guys, we're heading out. I'll call you later, Adam. Matt, it was great meeting you. I really enjoyed myself tonight."

Matt smiled. "Me, too. I hope we run into each other again."

"I'm sure we will. Bye, everyone." Jay followed Evan down the hallway, but stopped and went back to the couch.

Bending down, he whispered, "FYI, Addy. Randy and Cody are at the counter. You may want to find another exit."

"Thanks for the warning, Buddy."

"Who's Randy and Cody?" wondered Matt, after Jay had followed Evan out the door.

"Randy's my ex-boyfriend, and Cody is his new twink." Before Matt could say anything else, Adam stood up. "Get you stuff together, we can leave through the back way. If we run into my ex, it could get ugly."

~~~SCWAT~~~

**NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR: My mom is just like Jay in this story. Kinda technically inept. She's asking me constantly to sync her iTouch (like she can't figure it out herself!) or help her get online. I may have to drag her kicking and screaming to computer class.**

**BTW, I'm modeling Jay and Adam after Edge & Christian circa 1999 – 2000, with the long blonde hair. God they were quite the bombshells back then, and they've aged quite well:)**

**REVIEWS = LOVE**


	8. Chapter 8

_**Chapter Eight**_

"Wow, your friends are really nice!" marveled Matt as he and Adam left Cafe Grumpy through the back exit.

Adam smiled. "Aren't they? They're the two best friends a guy could ever have."

"Yeah. I really had a great time tonight." Matt paused. "Y'know, it's the first time in a long time that I've hung out with just guys."

"I kinda got that impression tonight. And you know something else? I'm picking up a lot of other things about you."

"Such as?"

"Well, for one, you have a lot of drama in your life."

Matt laughed. "You've got that right. Especially right now. I think I can give the cast of _Jersey Shore _a run for their money."

"You probably could. And there's something else I've noticed."

"Oh?"

"You really don't relate to guys all that well."

Matt cocked an eyebrow. "What are you talking about?"

"What I'm talking about, Matt, is that your life is devoid of men."

"Devoid of men? That's preposterous!"

"No, hear me out." Adam paused. "You don't have a lot of guy friends in your life. My guess is that where you work at, you don't have friends. You have acquaintances or cubicle mates or co-workers, not friends. You have just two friends you're really close to, and one of them is a woman. The closest male friend you have is gay. And your brother and dad are hundreds of miles away. So when you look at it, your life is devoid of male influence."

Matt nodded his head. Adam was making some good points, especially with the friends and family thing. "Adam, yeah. You do have some points. But really I can't imagine that my life is that devoid of male influence-"

"Matt?"

The familiar voice made Matt tense up in surprise. He turned around. "Mr. Torres!"

"Matt, it's good to see you."

"Hi!" Matt's voice sounded a little squeakier than he would have liked. "What are you doing out here tonight?"

"I just finished inventory at the bakery, I'm on my way home, just waiting for a cab." He paused. "Kinda late for you to be up, isn't it."

Adam grinned slyly and put an arm on Matt's shoulder. "Maybe. It's not _my_ bedtime yet."

He was cut off by the sight of his old boyfriend and his new toy. His grin turned into a glare. "Oh, that's great, Randy! Check out my date, while you show off your new twink!"

Randy narrowed his eyes and pulled Cody, his new boy, closer. "Screw you."

"Even better," Adam huffed. "Is that what you're looking for, Randy?"

"Yeah. Yeah it is."

"Well, good luck with that," snarled Adam, clenching his fists. Beside him, Matt looked like he wanted to be somewhere else. Cody looked wary, and Mr. Torres looked confused.

Randy turned his attention towards Matt. "Oh, note to the new boy. Addy's a high-maintenance twink, and a lazy bottom to boot."

"You take that back!" spat Adam, directing his attention to Cody. "And I'm a better lover than ten of him, I'm sure. And Randy, I want my KISS CD's back!"

Randy approached Adam and folded his arms. "You got a problem with me?"

"Oh, don't make me kick your ass!"

Randy snorted. "Oh, like you could."

_"Alright! That's it!"_ Adam lunged for his old boyfriend, only to be pulled back by Matt.

"Hey, this isn't a good time to do this," Matt pleaded, trying to keep the peace. "He needs to catch a cab, and Mr. Torres, I'll let you know when I hear from Eve, okay?"

Mr. Torres nodded. "Uhh...okay."

Matt ushered Adam away quickly. "Bye. See you later."

When Matt and Adam were gone, Mr. Torres turned to Randy, who was in a passionate embrace with Cody. "Who was that blonde guy?"

Randy shook his head. "I don't know. Just some blonde twink." A tense silence fell as Randy and Cody engaged in a public display of affection. When a cab finally showed up, Mr. Torres practically ran to it and threw himself into the back seat.

As the cab pulled away, Mr Torres had only these words to say;

"What the hell is a twink?"

~~~SCWAT~~~

"Matt, I'm so sorry!" Adam apologized as he followed Matt down the street. "I had no idea that was your father in law to be!"

"You didn't know, it's okay."

The two of them approached St. Peter's Episcopal Church. It was closed for the night, and the street was surprisingly quiet. Sighing, Matt flopped down onto the front steps and buried his head in his hands. "God, what a nightmare!"

Adam sat next to him and nodded. "Randy just...he just brings out the worst in me these days. And I thought he was the love of my life. At least until the day I found out he was seeing Cody behind my back. He's a two-faced, two-timing_...bastard!"_ A weary sigh escaped him, "Matt, I think I can give you a run for the money in the drama department."

Matt chuckled. A brief silence passed, and then he asked, "Adam, remember what you said earlier about me not being able to relate to men? Did you really mean that?"

"Matt, I shouldn't have said that. I had no right-"

"No, do you really think that?"

Adam turned away from Matt briefly, reflecting on the question. When he turned around, he had a twinkle in his eye. "You know what I think? I think in your totally screwy and completely weird way, you just wanna connect with your brother. And I think that's really sweet."

Matt smiled tiredly. "You think we can pull this off?"

Adam paused. "What kind of medium does your brother work with?"

Matt cocked an eyebrow. "What?"

"Hey, I'm gonna meet Jeff, so it would be nice to have something in common. It would be kinda awkward if we didn't have anything to talk about, right?"

Matt laughed, and Adam gave him a comforting hug. His voice was kind and reassuring. "Matt, I think we're gonna be just fine."

It was just what Matt needed to hear. He let himself smile and felt a little more at peace-maybe Adam was right, and everything would turn out okay.

**NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR: I hope this chapter didn't end too abruptly. My lunch hour at work is over, and I have to get back.**

**REVIEWS = LOVE**


	9. Chapter 9

**NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR: Okay, we're gonna jump a few days ahead for the sake of moving the story forward. I won't bore you all with details. Suffice it to say that Jeff finally arrives in New York!**

_**Chapter Nine**_

"Matty! You got my message!" was the first thing Jeff said as he bounded out of the taxi in front of Matt's apartment building.

"Barely," laughed Matt as he accepted Jeff's enthusiastic hug. Which was true. He'd just stepped out of the shower soaking wet when he heard Jeff's message on his answering machine and nearly took out a kitchen chair in his haste to reply to it. Unfortunately, he'd answered a bit too late, and only got his brother's voice mail.

"I know I should have arranged it with you, but then you would have said no, and I really needed to see you," Jeff gushed.

"Well, I'm glad you're here," said Matt, patting Jeff on the back. He paused and turned to Adam, who was looking on quietly as he sipped out of his water bottle. "Oh, where are my manners? Jeff, this is Adam, my boyfriend."

"Hi!"

"It's great to finally meet you, Jeff." Adam smiled and shook hands.

"So where's Trish," wondered Matt. "I thought she'd be going with you."

Jeff frowned. "She couldn't get time off of work on such short notice. But she says hi, and she's very happy for you." He turned to the apartment doorman who was unloading Jeff's suitcases from the taxi trunk. "Hey, buddy. I'll pay you twenty dollars if you let me carry my own bags in."

"Sure, thanks!" The doorman smiled and accepted the folded bill.

The taxi pulled back out into traffic, and a brief, awkward silence fell. Then, Jeff grinned and picked up his suitcases. "I love New York! Wow! Let's go inside."

As Matt and Adam followed Jeff into the building, Adam could help but snicker. "Matt, I've only known your brother for a few minutes, and already I can tell he's got just two speeds. Fast forward and stop."

~~~SCWAT~~~

"Pick up, pick up, pick up..." hissed Matt into the phone in the kitchen half an hour later. Jeff had put all his clothes up and was now on the living room floor in the downward dog yoga pose. Adam was sitting cross-legged on the couch, drawing in a sketchbook, and was finding it hard to concentrate on his work because Jeff was directly in front of him, and the younger Hardy's shorts covered backside was on glorious display.

"PICK UP!" Matt snapped.

Finally, he heard a click on the other end. It was Phil. "Uhhh...Dad?"

"Your dad screams into the phone like a lunatic?"

"Oh, so now you're criticizing _my_ family dynamics?"

"Jeff's here!" Matt gasped, trying to keep his voice low.

Phil gasped. _"Here? In New York?"_

"No, the Bajoran wormhole. Of course he's in New York!"

"Matty, I didn't know you were a Trekkie."

"Phil, you have to come over NOW."

"Just give Scotty your coordinates. I'll have him beam me over."

"Phil, you are not helping." Matt glanced over at Jeff, who'd swung gracefully into the crescent pose. Was he imagining things, or was Adam staring at his little brother?

"Matt, don't freak. I'll come over when I can, but I have to work at the shop today. And Anna is over at Jay and Evan's fixing Jay's iTouch or else I'd send her over."

"You're about as useless as tits on a boar, Phil!" Matt exclaimed.

"Matt, I'll get there when I get there. I can't make any promises."

Matt snarled and slammed the phone down and then stomped into the living room, flopping himself down on the couch with a huff.

Jeff looked over his shoulder. "Who were you hollering at?"

"Phil, of course. Yoga?"

"Yeah. Addy said it's important to stretch and rehydrate, especially after a long flight."

"Hmmm. So what do you guys want to do today?"

Jeff plopped down on the couch next to his brother. "Well, Addy was telling me all about your first date."

Before Matt could say a word, Adam leaned over and whispered in his ear. Matt smiled and nodded. "Oh, yeah! That would be perfect. Okay, we'll do that."

~~~SCWAT~~~

"You're definitely not the dinner and a movie type," said Matt as he, Jeff and Adam checked out helmets, bats and assorted baseball gear. Adam's suggestion was an indoor baseball facility with batting cages that could be rented for practice.

"It's perfect," Adam explained, making sure that Jeff couldn't hear them. "It's interactive, and we don't have to pull off being overly affectionate. It's too dangerous for two people to be in the same batting cage."

"I like how you think. So how fast do these balls fly?"

"Depends on how fast you want them. We can set the pitching machine on slow to start."

"Adam, if I'd have known that something like this was here, I'd have come here sooner."

"You're quite the insular type, Matt. You're set in your ways, and you don't get out of the house much, with the exception of hanging out with Anna and Phil. You really need to broaden your horizons. Let's put this gear on and hit a few pitches."

~~~SCWAT~~~

"Okay Matt, keep your eye on the ball," Adam instructed from outside the batting cage. Matt, wearing his helmet and some gloves, held his bat and stared down the pitching machine. The machine lobbed another ball, and Matt swung. The ball hit the bat with a satisfying _crack!_

"Nice one, Matt! That's a solid base hit right there."

"Thanks, I think it's coming back to me."

"It's like riding a bike. Once you learn, you never really forget."

"Hey, guys. What are you doing?"

Jeff, who had gone to buy a pack of Skittles, flopped down on the bench next to the batting cage. "You have a pretty good swing, Matty."

"I was giving your brother some pointers," smiled Adam. "Why don't you give this a try?"

Matt took his helmet off and stepped out of the cage. "Come on, Jeffey. It's really fun. Besides, I need to take a breather anyhow."

"Okay. Can't hurt, right?" Jeff took the helmet and bat from his brother and stepped inside. "Don't eat my Skittles!"

"Yes sir!" Adam answered back, as Matt laughed. "He just barked that out like a drunken pirate, didn't he?"

"He's got this thing for Skittles. He's almost psychotic when it comes to those little candies."

Shaking his head in amusement, Adam joined Jeff in the batting cage. He slipped the helmet on Jeff's head and handed him the bat. "Okay, bend over just a bit. Legs slightly apart, and bend your knees," he instructed. "Now, lift your elbows a touch. Perfect. Keep your eye on the ball and swing all the way through."

Jeff smiled and his and Adam's eyes met. Adam blushed slightly when he realized just how close he was standing to Matt's brother. "Uh...I'm going to turn the machine on," he stammered, recovering. "Have fun."

"I thought you said two people can't be in the cage together," Matt said, as Adam stepped out.

"Only when the balls are being pitched. Maybe you _should_ be my boyfriend, Mr. Overprotective Pain-in-the-ass."

"Hey!"

"But you gotta admit, this is one more item crossed off your bucket list."

"True."

The conversation was interrupted with a loud _crack!_ as Jeff swung at the pitched ball and hit it hard.

Adam clapped in approval. "Well look at this! Nice shot!"

Jeff shook his head in delight. "I haven't done this in so long!"

"Last time I saw you swing like that was in Little League," Matt said, as the pitching machine chucked another ball. Jeff missed that pitch, but he hit the next one just as hard as the first one he hit.

Adam whistled softly in appreciation. "That was sweet!"

"I could do this all day!" chirped Jeff.

Matt was beaming. "One more, dude!"

Jeff grinned wickedly. "I'm ready. One, two..."

The baseball sailed through the air and Jeff swung hard. He hit the ball, but in the process, the force of the hit broke the bat into two pieces. Jeff jumped back a few inches and Matt ducked out of the way. Adam, however, was not fast enough. The broken piece of bat flew through the air and smacked Adam in the head, knocking him out cold.

~~~SCWAT~~~

When Adam came to, he noticed he was lying on the couch in Matt's apartment, his head propped up on a pillow, with a bag of frozen peas resting against his right eye. The brothers were staring down at him with worried expressions on their faces.

Adam groaned. "What hit me," he managed.

"You okay?" Jeff asked. "You were out cold for nearly half an hour."

Adam set the frozen peas in his lap. "You tell me."

Jeff knelt down and gently prodded the bruises on Adam's face. "You have a bump on your head and a shiner on your eye."

"How do I look?"

"You kinda look like Petey the dog."

Adam grinned. "From _Little Rascals? _I didn't think you were the type who liked _Little Rascals."_

"Well, when you grow up in the sticks, with only three channels available, you have to find something you like. Petey was the cutest dog, wasn't he?"

"Uh, Jeff...Jeff...JEFF!"

Jeff blinked and realized that Matt was right in his face. "Oh, sorry."

"Hey listen, there's a drug store at the end of this block. Why don't you go over there and get some Advil for my boyfriend here."

"Sure thing. I'll be back soon." Jeff threw on his jacket and stepped outside.

When he was confident that Jeff was safely out of earshot, Matt yanked the pillow out from under Adam's head. "You like my brother." he spat.

Adam smiled. "He's great, Matty!"

"You don't know him like I do, Adam! He can have people eating out of the palm of his hand in a second! You don't know the real Jeff."

"I know, Matt. He can hit a baseball like nobody's business-"

"Adam, you don't get it-"

Adam sat up and cut Matt off. "No! You don't get it. This is getting ridiculous. You need to tell your brother the truth."

_"I can't!"_ Matt began to pace the living room floor. "I do that, and he'll still think I made this all up to wreck his wedding!" He paused, and then glared at Adam. "Don't tell me you're backing out of this. If you are, then I'll stop payment on that check so fast, you'll find yourself back on top of that ladder!"

Adam snorted. "Relax, Matty. I know I said this is ridiculous. But I never mentioned backing out of it. I'm still in the game."

Matt sighed in relief. "Thanks."

"Sure." Adam lay back down on the couch and put the frozen peas back on his head. "Matty, I don't think the Advil's gonna work. I may need something stronger. If you happen to have any Vicodin, I'll be forever in your debt."

**NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR: SWERVE!**

**REVIEWS = LOVE**


	10. Chapter 10

**NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR: Wow! Today I can't think of any notes to put in!**

_**Chapter Ten**_

The Vicodin knocked Adam out, and with nothing better to do, Matt drifted off to sleep on the living room couch. When they both woke up, a good three hours had passed, and the place was filled with the smell of cooking.

Adam stumbled into the living room and sniffed. "You making dinner?" he asked.

Matt raked his hair out of his face. "No, I just woke up, and..._oh, dammit! I completely forgot about Jeff!"_ He staggered off the couch and rushed into the kitchen, Adam right behind him. Neither of them were prepared for what they saw.

A spread of food was set out invitingly on Matt's kitchen table. There were bagels and cream cheese and smoked salmon and what looked like small fish cakes . There was matzoh ball soup, with bits of chicken and vegetables, roast lamb, stuffed peppers, grape leaves stuffed with rice and different kinds of salad. There was also potato pancakes with applesauce and sour cream and blintzes with fruit topping.

Adam's jaw dropped. "Holy crap!"

Just then, Jeff opened the apartment door and stepped inside. Upon seeing Matt and Adam, he smiled. "Surprise, guys!

Matt gazed at the food. "What's all this?" he asked, bewildered.

Jeff blushed slightly. "Well, I wanted to make up for hitting Adam in the head at the batting cage, so I ran out and got us all some dinner while you were asleep."

Matt could stop the grin that tweaked across his lips. "This looks great!"

"Plates and knives and forks are all on the counter." Jeff gestured. "I got paper plates and plastic ware so you won't have to wash dishes. Help yourselves."

"Don't mind if I do," smiled Matt as he took a plate and began serving himself.

Adam took a plate for himself and checked out the spread. "Jeff, you didn't have to do all this for me-"

"But I wanted to," Jeff said, leaning against the fridge. "I also wanted to do this for my brother." A sweet smile graced Jeff's mouth as he said, "Matty, I'm so glad you found someone you love so much."

"Thanks," nodded Matt. He paused. "So what is all this stuff?"

"There's bagels and lox, and stuffed peppers. That blue container has tabouleh salad. There's blintzes for dessert, and the pancakes, those are potato latkes."

"Are those fish cakes in the white box?"

"That's a variation of gefilte fish," explained Jeff.

"Gefilte fish? Do you even know what gefilte fish is?"

"You don't know as well as you think you do, Matty." Jeff smirked. "The guy at the deli told me what it is. It's ground up fish mixed with matzo meal and veggies, stuffed in a fish skin and poached. But at this deli, they grind up the fish, mix it with the meal and veggies and pan-fry it. It's really good."

"Where'd you get all this?"

"I went to a Jewish deli a couple blocks down."

Adam picked out a gefilte fish cake, some salad, a latke and a blintz. "This all looks fantastic. I don't know about you guys, but I'm starving."

"I never had matzoh ball soup," Matt said, taking some bowls out of the cupboard.

"It's kinda like chicken and dumplings," explained Adam, as he took an offered bowl and scooped up a ladle full.

Matt shook his head. "Gefilte fish," he said, more to himself than anyone else., as he began loading his plate and soup bowl.

"Didn't think I'd like it," Jeff said, obviously hearing his brother's comment. "I mean I saw the Manischewitz stuff in the grocery store, and I always thought that's what it was supposed to be. " He began to fill his own plate. "And then I tried the stuff at the deli, and I was like WOW!"

"I can't handle the stuff at the grocery store," Adam said, putting a stuffed pepper on his plate. "I brought it over to Jay and Evan's house. Jay told me to eat it outside because the smell made him wanna puke. It looked pretty, but I could only choke down one piece of it, because it was just so strong. It has to be made right for me to like it."

Matt cocked an eyebrow. "You've eaten it?"

"Yeah, why?" Adam tilted his head and studied Matt's expression. Then he turned to Jeff. "Okay Jeff, if we have time tomorrow, we're taking your brother to this deli you went to. Now let's dig in before this all gets cold."

~~~SCWAT~~~

"...Anyway, I like using acrylic paints because they're water-based and they're easier to clean up," Adam explained, as he speared a piece of blintz coated with strawberry topping with his fork. The three of them were in Matt's living room, devouring the feast Jeff had brought. Between Adam and Jeff and Matt, they had eaten nearly all of the food. "You don't have to follow the 'fat over lean' rule when you work with them.

"I like acrylics too," remarked Jeff, around a mouthful of potato pancake. "I usually apply them with a bold hand because I like the intensity on the canvas. So, do you have muses?"

"Muses."

"Inspirations. What inspires you to do your work?"

"My muses are the environment. I like external stimulation. I'm completely compelled by what I see and hear and smell and taste and feel. Sometimes I get compelled by things I find revolting."

"Revolting. Like, car accidents?"

"No. Daytime TV." Adam and Jeff both laughed. "Anyway, every smell, every taste, every sight...they assault my senses and motivate me. But sometimes I need the complete opposite. I have this spot up on the roof of this building where I sit and decompress when I need to."

"Wow. Sounds really fun." Jeff finished his potato pancake. "You really make art sound so visceral and...sexy."

"Visceral, maybe. Sexy...I'm not sure about that." chuckled Adam.

_Adam, Jeff, you're boring the hell out of me, _Matt thought, as he nibbled on a piece of matzo. _Adam and I are supposed to be the happy couple, but you guys are bonding like nobody's business. This wasn't supposed to happen!_

_I think I need to set Adam straight._

"Hey, guys," Matt said, "I'm gonna make some hot tea. It's getting chilly, and think a nice cup will warm us all up. Adam, you want a cup?"

Adam smiled. "Sure."

Jeff stood up and stretched. "If it's okay with you guys, I'm gonna take a shower. Adam, where do you guys keep the towels?"

"Towels..." Adam scratched his head. "Uh...towels..."

"Bathroom closet on your right," Matt called out from the kitchen, as he put water into a tea kettle and set it on the stove. "Middle shelf."

"Yeah. What he said." Adam blushed slightly.

"Thanks." Jeff swayed in the direction of the bathroom.

Adam began to clear the dishes off the living room table and made his way into the kitchen. "Sorry, Jeff. Brain cramp. You'd think I've never been here before."

~~~SCWAT~~~

As soon Adam threw away the disposables and put the soup bowls in the sink, Matt grabbed him and shoved him gently against the refrigerator.

"Hey!" Adam protested.

Matt narrowed his eyes. _"What the hell are you doing, Adam?"_ he hissed., keeping his voice low. _"You're supposed to be my boyfriend, and you're flirting with my brothe!"_

"I wasn't flirting!" Adam fired back, keeping his voice down so that Jeff wouldn't hear him. "I was just talking about art and...gefilte fish."

"You make art sound so visceral and...sexy," wheedled Matt, trying to imitate his brother but failing epically. "I guess you're not any different...except physically, of course. I mean, he's gone after everyone I've ever been with."

Adam sighed and raked his fingers through his hair. "Matty, I'm sorry. It's just that...well, I've never met anyone like your brother. He's got me all tied in knots, and I don't know how to be around him."

"Okay. Let me give you a crash course in how to be around my brother." Matt paused. "Stay insanely attentive to me! Do you read me."

"Loud and clear."

For a single crackling second, Matt and Adam just stared at each other. Then, without thinking, Matt pressed his lips hard against Adam's in a kiss. It felt weird, like he was kissing an older relative. _It's just a charade, _he told himself. _It's just a charade, it's just a-_

"Matty, I—_Holy Crap, Matty! I'm sorry!"_

Matt and Adam both jumped and saw Jeff in the kitchen doorway.

"You scared me half to death, Jeff!" Matt exclaimed.

"I'm sorry, Matty. But there's someone at the door. A Mom and Dad Torres?"

Matt's heart nearly stopped and his face turned white. "Oh, crap!" he said under his breath, as he became aware of the tea kettle whistling away.

"You okay?"

"Oh, yeah. Just wasn't expecting company tonight," Matt answered, calming himself down and pulling a box of Red Zinger tea out of the cupboard. "Jeff, why don't you and Adam put away the leftovers and get the tea ready. I'll go say hi to...uh, Mom and Dad."

Jeff cocked an eyebrow. "Sure."

"Thanks." Taking a deep breath, Matt went to answer the door, leaving Adam and Jeff to clean up. _Oh, of all the lousy luck,_ he thought, frantically. _Could this possibly get any crazier?_

It was about to.

**NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR: I couldn't resist Jeff going to a Jewish deli. I know it may sound out of character for him, but I figured that Jeff was the type who would get a wild hare up his backside and check one out for the hell of it. BTW, I like gefilte fish, just not Manischewitz. The panfried variety I've tried, and it's fantastic. I'm really picky about my gefilte fish. Same goes for latkes and blintzes. I'm just picky like that.**

**REVIEWS = LOVE**


	11. Chapter 11

_**Chapter Eleven**_

Taking a deep breath and pressing the sweaty palms of his hands on his pants, Matt threw the front door open and greeted Mom and Dad Torres. "Hey, hi! Good to see you two."

"Hi, Matt." Dad Torres handed Matt a paper sack. "Some more goodies for you for breakfast."

"Thanks."

"Hey, we hate to just drop in like this—"

"Oh, don't be silly," Matt pshawed, placing the bag on the coffee table.

"Maybe we should go—"

"No, honey." Mom Torres put a hand on her husband's shoulder. "Oh, no. We need to—oh, it's just that we're confused about a few things. Things are just…hmmm, a little off."

Matt cocked his head. "Ohhhh…kay?"

"Well, the young man who answered the door for starters."

"Jeff?"

"Yes, Jeff. He introduced himself as your brother."

Matt's stomach dropped, and he felt a chill pass through him. _Get a grip! _he told himself. "Oh, yeah. He's a radical gay activist, he calls everyone his brother. It's a political statement for him.

Dad Torres nodded. "Yeah, the blonde with the trimmed-up facial hair."

Matt cracked a smile. "Jeff's got quite the artistic streak in him. He loves to show it off."

"And he mentioned something about Adam getting whacked in the head with a baseball bat?"

"Adam. He's a friend of mine…and Jeff. Yeah. They're boyfriends."

"The man with the wavy blonde hair that I met the other night."

Matt nodded. "Yeah."

Dad Torres cocked an eyebrow and tilted his head slightly. "I thought his name was Randy."

"It is—er—"

"I thought Jeff was his boyfriend," Mom Torres chimed in."

Matt chuckled nervously. "I mean, he was. Randy is Adam's ex-boyfriend."

"Matt," Mom Torres questioned. "Where did these two guys come from?"

_Think fast, Matt!_ "Well, I grew up with Jeff, and then I…introduced him to Adam. Believe me, the sparks are really flying."

Just then, the kitchen door swung open and Jeff and Adam walked through. Adam had a bamboo tray with a steaming teapot, ceramic mugs, a box of tea, and a package of cookies. Jeff, who was holding some spoons and napkins, smiled. "Hey cool, we have some more guests. "You guys want something to eat? We just put away some leftovers.

Adam set the tray on the coffee table and glanced into the paper sack. "I think we have plenty of goodies." He straightened up and shook his head. "Where are my manners? It's good to see you again…Mr. Torres, right?"

"It is," Dad Torres smiled, as he shook Adam's hand and gestured towards his wife. "And my lovely other half."

"Guys have a seat. There's plenty of Red Zinger for everyone, announced Jeff, as he set the spoons and napkins down. "Wow, it's like one big happy family all of a sudden,"

"It certainly is, Jeff," Matt said, taking a seat. "It certainly is." As everyone else sat down, Matt sighed under his breath, "Oh, God."

~~~SCWAT~~~

Matt didn't know how he survived and kept a level head during that surreal tea party. Luckily, Adam, and the Torres's were monopolizing most of the conversation, which made it easier for Matt to keep his future in-laws in the dark. He'd introduced them to Adam and Jeff as friends he'd met at the bakery (that much WAS true, sort of) and left it at that. The fact that Matt was gnawing on one of Dad Torres's big baked monstrosities made it a little easier to keep his mouth shut as well.

"So Jeff," Mom Torres asked, refreshing her tea mug. "This is your first time in New York?"

Jeff nodded happily. "It is. It's so crazy and awesome. Matty's been here since he graduated college. I guess you hear so many horror stories about this place."

Adam chuckled and nibbled on a cookie. "But they're usually told by someone who's never been to New York."

"Yeah," agreed Jeff, after a sip of his tea. "When I think of visiting someplace, I usually think of something that involves going to the beach or something."

"Oh, we can take Jeff to the beach," smiled Adam, as Mom Torres cocked an eyebrow.

"Y'know, after hearing about Adam, I just couldn't wait another minute without meeting him."

"So it's all working out for you?" Mom Torres ventured.

"I honestly think it would be much more awkward than it has been, but it's kinda like a girlfriend would be if you really think about it."

Dad Torres regarded Jeff strangely. "So this lifestyle is new for you then?"

"Completely. Aside from Phil, I've never really met a gay person."

"So you just…knew?" Mom Torres asked.

"Knew what?"

The conversation was interrupted by a knock on the door. "I'll get it," Matt said, as he sprung up, grateful for the interruption. He glanced through the peephole and smiled in relief. It was Anna and Phil. _Why are they dressed all in club gear? _he wondered. "Jeff, why don't you get more cups out. It looks like we have more guests."

Flinging open the door, Matt sighed in relief. "Oh, thank…" his voice trailed off as he saw the box of cupcakes in Anna's hands. They were all decorated like breasts. "…God."

"We brought you some cupcakes," said Phil, sheepishly.

"One of the guys had a birthday party," explained Anna. "He gave us the leftovers. Said I should eat one or two or six because I looked like I needed them. By the way, the boobs are marzipan. Strawberry flavor."

Phil glanced over Matt's shoulder, noticing, Adam, Matt, and the Torres's. "What's up with the Mad Hatter's Tea Party?"

Matt locked eyes with Phil. "Exactly."

"Well, have no fear," Anna grinned, slapping Matt on the shoulder. "We're all going clubbing. Jay, Evan and JoMo are waiting downstairs."

~~~SCWAT~~~

After Anna and Phil helped Matt clear the dishes, everyone headed to Flamingo's on West 51st. The place was a mishmash of sensory stimulation. The entrance doors opened to a dance floor, which was all glass and mostly mirrors. Eyes were painted on some of the panes, and a rainbow of lights lights gave the place a watercolor effect. Mist covered the floor on which patrons swayed and bounced to the bass-heavy music that thumped from the speakers.

Matt gave the place a once-over. From that main dance room, there were several offshoots. To the left was a gaming room complete with computers and software that allowed the users to engage in computer games. The rooms to the right were quieter hangouts for guests who found the noise from the dance floor too much. Shouts, whistles, and conversations pockmarked the smoky air. At least a dozen smells permeated the atmosphere-cigarette smoke, hash smoke, sweat, perfume, aftershave, alcohol, and others.

"Holy crap! I can barely hear myself think!" shouted Matt, his voice barely audible above the din.

"Isn't it fantastic?" Jay shouted, keeping his arm wrapped firmly around Evan's waist so that neither of them would be separated in the crowd.

"There's a little movie theater to the right where you can watch movies, and a little restaurant in case someone gets hungry," explained JoMo, "Anna, are you hungry?"

"Am I angry?"

JoMo rubbed his stomach, then mimicked eating. "Are you hungry?"

"Oh, am I hungry? Yeah. I could use a snack. Let's go get a caprese plate. I'm craving mozzarella and basil."

"Helluva hangout," Matt said.

"Better believe it!" Jay shot back. "We're gonna play on the computers. We'll catch up with you later, when it's time for the contest." he announced as he disappeared, Evan in tow.

"We'll text you!" Evan called back.

Matt turned to Phil. "You must have said something, or else Mom and Torres wouldn't have jumped at the chance to go to a club like this. And what is this contest, anyway?"

"It's under control, Matty!" Phil shouted back. "This place is so noisy, they won't be able to really talk. I told them there's gonna be a dance contest tonight, and the contestants get free drinks. I entered them."

"Just try and keep everyone separated until the contest starts." said Anna, as she followed JoMo to the restaurant.

"How do I do that?" Matt exclaimed, before he bellied up to the bar. _I think I'm going to need a lot of alcohol to get through this one!_

~~~SCWAT~~~

"Hi, I am the Margarita King," said the handsome man in the tuxedo and white gloves as he leaned over the table in the quiet section where Mom and Dad Torres had found seats. "And I will shake for you the best margarita in the world. These are on the house."

With that, he shook the silver flask he was holding and poured the icy concoction into the salt-rimmed glasses he'd brought out. "Here. Only the best from the King."

"This looks good, thank you!" said Mom Torres, graciously, as the Margarita King smiled and headed to another table.

Dad Torres smirked and held up his glass. "Actually, I think he's the Margarita Queen," he laughed softly, as he and his wife sipped their drinks.

~~~SCWAT~~~

"…The trick is to suck on the stem until it's soft enough to bend," explained Jeff as he and Adam chatted and sipped on their cocktails. "Then, you bite the end and twirl it into a loop with your tongue."

"I could never do that growing up," laughed Adam. "You'll have to show me one day."

"Maybe I will," Jeff said coyly. Then he and Adam turned their heads, surprised at how close they were standing. They blushed and grinned sheepishly at each other.

~~~SCWAT~~~

Unable to handle the loud music, Matt ducked into the restaurant. JoMo motioned for him to join him and Anna.

"Glad you all could make it," JoMo said, reaching for a piece of bread loaded with a slice of tomato, basil and mozzarella drizzled with balsamic vinegar. He offered it to Matt, who politely shook his head

"Thanks, and I love your shirt."

"Thanks." JoMo gestured with his chin at the sleeve of his purple silk shirt. "H&M special. How've you been?"

Matt sighed and raked his hair. "Well, Eve's parents think I've lost my mind, my brother's flirting with my fake boyfriend, and you guys signed us all up for a dance contest." He paused, and then frowned. _"Willkommen zu mein alptraum."_

Anna cocked her head and nibbled on her caprese slice. "What's that?"

"It's German for _Welcome to my nightmare."_

"That's heavy."

"It is." Matt grinned as an idea suddenly hit him. "Can you guys talk to the DJ?"

"Who, Dolph?" JoMo asked. "I'm a buddy of his. How do you think I got all the tickets for everyone."

"You think you can get him to start the dance contest early?"

"I think that can be arranged." JoMo smirked. "Anna, why don't you finish that plate off for us and fire a text off to Jay and Evan. We've got a dance contest to participate in."

**NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR: I really am trying hard not to write the gay characters in this story as stereotypes. In my head, Phil's gay, but he's not flamingly so, and the same goes for JoMo, Adam, etc. I hope that I'm doing those characters enough justice. BTW, I got the "Welcome to my nightmare" translation from an online English to German translater. Hope it's accurate! Also, I modeled the club after Dave & Buster's in Colorado, which is one of my favorite places ever.**

**REVIEWS = LOVE**


	12. Chapter 12

_**Chapter Twelve**_

"So, how long have you two known each other?" asked Mom Torres, her voice barely carrying over the din. After the text messages had been sent, everyone had congregated to a table near the main dance area. The noise had died down somewhat in preparation for the contest, but it was still hard to carry a normal conversation.

Jeff sipped his drink. "What?"

Matt, who was seated next to his brother, leaned over. "She wants to know how long we've known each other!"

Before Jeff was able to answer, Phil approached the table and leaned over it. "Guys, have you seen JoMo?"

"He went to get the dance contest started," answered Matt. "I don't know where else he could have gone." Phil nodded and wove his way through the crowd.

Jeff smiled at Mom Torres. "Well, it used to be never," he said, "But after Matty came down for my wedding and came out that he was gay, we've become much closer!"

The dimmed lights concealed the look of horror on Matt's now-pale face.

Mom Torres shook her head. "What did he say?"

Matt felt a surge of relief as he answered, "He said we met in grade school."

Mom Torres had an odd look on her face as she nodded.

~~~SCWAT~~~

Phil opened the door to a unisex bathroom. Anna and JoMo were in front of the bathroom mirror. "Uhh...am I interrupting something, guys?"

Both Anna and JoMo jumped, startled. "Don't do that, Phil!" Anna snapped.

"We're primping!" JoMo exclaimed.

"He had to borrow my lip gloss and eyeliner." Anna said in explanation, as she put the items back in her purse.

Phil folded his arms across his chest. "Well get out there! Contest is about to start."

Anna stood up at attention and saluted Phil. "Sir! Yes Sir!" she laughed, marching like a soldier out of the bathroom. JoMo followed close behind, and Phil gave him a slap on the ass on the way out before chuckling softly and bringing up the rear.

~~~SCWAT~~~

"Alright, Ladies and Gentlemen!" announced Dolph, the DJ, as soon as everyone was situated. "It's time to get things started. And rumor has it that we have a gay Fred Astaire in our midst.

Adam and Jeff looked at each other and shrugged.

Dolph continued, "So let me introduce, without further adieu, Adam and Jeff!"

Admidt the applause, Jeff and Adam smiled as if to say, What the hell? Let's get out there!

Adam led Jeff out onto the dance floor. It was a slow dance to a soft rock song, and their dance, although not spectacular, was compelling:

I've seen myself with a dirty face

I've cut my luck, with a dirty ace

I leave the light on

I leave the light on

I went from zero, to minus ten

I drank your wine, then I stole your man

I leave the light on

I leave that light on

Daddy ain't that bad, he just plays rough

I ain't that scarred, when I'm covered up

I leave the light on

Yeah, I leave the light on

Little boy hiding underneath the bed

Was it something I did? Must be something I said

I leave the light on

I better leave the light on

'Cause I wanna love

And I wanna live

Yeah, I don't know much about it

And I never did - no, no

17, and I'm all messed up inside

I cut myself, just to feel alive

And I leave the light on

And I leave the light on

21 on the run, on the run, on the run

From myself, from myself and everyone

I leave the light on

I better leave the light on

"Adam's mom was a ballroom dancer," Matt explained to the Torreses.

"They look very natural together," said Mom Torres. "Very graceful."

Adam spun Jeff around the floor as if they were born dancing together. Everyone turned to watch, no one else wanted to dance, happier to watch the two of them glide across the floor like bright happy leaves in a sparkling autumn wind.

'Cause I wanna love

And I wanna live

Yea, I don't know much about it

And I never did

I don't know what to do

Can the damage be undone?

I swore to God that I'd never be

What I've become

And lucky stars, and fairy tales

I'm gonna bathe myself, in a ocean well

Pretty scars from cigarettes

I never will forget - I never will forget

I'm still afraid, to be alone

Wish that the moon would follow me home

I leave the light on

Yeah, I leave that light on

I ain't that bad, I'm just messed up

I ain't that sad, but I'm sad enough

'Cause I wanna love

I wanna live

No, I don't know much about it

And I never did

I don't know what to do

Can the damage be undone?

I swore to God that I'd never be

What I've become

I leave that light…

I leave that light…

I leave that light on

God bless the child, with the dirty face

Who cuts his luck, with a dirty ace

He leaves the light on

I leave that light on

Adam and Jeff stepped back a few feet and waited a moment. Then, Jeff floated back into Adam's arms, and the spectators broke into loud whistles and applause. The audience was quite thrilled with the performance, but Matt looked anything but.

~~~SCWAT~~~

"Evan's the kind of guy who can talk about the science in _Star Trek_ and still get laid," Jay said to Anna, as they were waiting for a cab a couple of hours later.

"I like him," Anna said, "How'd you know he was _The One?"_

"I don't know. When we first met, he was supposed to be a one-night stand. I mean, he was such a geek when we first hooked up. Not nerd-geek with the Coke bottle glasses and the pocket protector mind you, but, he was just a fanboy. He loved Japanese animae, and Discovery Channel and _Star Trek_ and _Star Wars_. In fact, he used to have _Star Wars_ cardboard cutouts in his bedroom. It was weird because it felt like Obi Wan Kenobi was watching the first time Evan jacked me off."

Anna busted up laughing. "Strong with the force this one," she giggled, attempting a Yoda impression but failing epically. "Gave you a handjob, he did?"

"Stop!" Jay laughed. "But you know, he actually brought out my inner geek, too, the more I hung out with him. Finally, we both decided we should hook up for good. That was three years ago, and we're still going strong. In fact our code word for having sex is, 'do you wanna play light sabers?'"

"May the force be with you both," Anna laughed, glancing over to her right. "Oh, not here!"

"Mmmmm...peppermint," sighed Phil, as he made out with JoMo. "You should ask Anna where she got that lip gloss."

"Oh, get a room, guys!"

Phil and JoMo glanced up in surprise to see Anna in front of them, looking rather annoyed. "Hey, I thought you said seeing two hot guys make out was a turn-on for you," Phil exclaimed, with a smile. "I thought you liked to watch."

"Not in public! Hey, Jay and Evan and I are heading to Cafe Grumpy for a nightcap. Meet you back at the apartment?"

"Keep your phone on," Phil said, as Anna and the others climbed into a waiting cab.

"Don't I always? Bye, guys." Anna waved as the cab door closed and the car pulled seamlessly into traffic.

Phil and his lover watched the cab drive away, and then returned to their makeout session.

~~~SCWAT~~~

Matt went outside and found Adam and Jeff doubled over in laughter at some story. "Hey guys."

The two of them looked up. "Matty!" gasped Jeff. "Where've you been? Ow! Is it possible to pull something from laughing too hard?"

"That's the same question I should ask you two. I've been looking for you for a half-hour."

"We're sorry. Anna introduced us to Daffney, her friend from the tattoo shop," explained Adam. "And we hung out with her, comparing tattoos and doing a couple of shots."

Matt glanced over his shoulder and watched Mom and Dad Torres step out of the club. "Adam, why don't you go say good-by to the Torreses. I wanna talk to Jeff alone real quick."

Adam caught the serious look in Matt's eyes and politely excused himself.

When the tall blonde was safely out of earshot, Matt turned to his brother. "Jeff, I see you and Adam have really hit it off."

"Matty, he's great! I really like him," Jeff beamed.

Matt nodded, his expression stern. "Jeff, why are you doing this?"

Jeff's smile cooled off ten degrees, and he cocked an eyebrow in confusion. "What are you talking about?"

Matt snorted. "You know, it's not enough for you to go after every girl I've gone out with. Now you're willing to turn gay to steal my guy?"

"Matty, wait! I-"

Matt turned briskly on his heel and stalked off. _"Go away, Jeff!" _he spat in disgust.

_"Matty, wait! I don't know my way back to your place!"_ he shouted, following after his angry older brother.

Adam, who had seen the unfortunate altercation, quickly excused himself and chased after the brothers.

After a moment of tense silence, Mom Torres turned to her husband. "Now do you believe something's wrong?"

Dad Torres shook his head. "I really think we should sit Matt down and have a good long talk with him."

His wife turned and paced down the street, the heels of her shoes clicking loudly. "I'm calling Eve!"

Dad Torres struggled to keep up. "Are you sure about this-"

"Very, Honey. I'm calling her tonight, as soon as we get home!" Mom Torres flagged down a cab. "Taxi!"

~~~SCWAT~~~

Luckily, Adam, who knew his way back to Matt's apartment, caught up with Jeff, and the two of them managed to follow Matt onto a subway train. Unfortunately, they weren't able to catch up with him, and he disappeared after two stops.

Adam and Jeff disembarked after the train reached the station close to Matt's apartment. "It's so screwy!" Jeff exclaimed, shaking his head as he followed Adam down the street. "I don't know how it happened."

"I know," Adam nodded. "It's like one minute, Matt's on the train and then _poof! _He's gone, like some kind of Harry Houdini wannabe."

"No! I mean between us," said Jeff, stopping to lean up against a bus shelter.

Adam drew closer and cocked his head. "Between us, Jeff?"

"No, Matty and me," explained Jeff, shaking his head. "That us."

"Oh, not us, us." Adam looked a little bewildered.

Jeff paused and chewed at his bottom lip. "You're talking about..._Us,_ us?"

Adam sighed and put his hand on Adam's shoulder. "Yeah, Jeff. _Us,_ us."

It suddenly dawned on Jeff. "As in, us? You and I, us?"

Adam nodded and drew closer. "Yeah. Us, you and I us," he said softly.

And with those words, Adam pulled Jeff close to him and dipped his head down to capture the younger man's lips with his own. Jeff slid his hands up Adam's neck, entwining the blonde waves in his fingers. It was a passionate, deep, hot kiss that made them both want more.

That is, until Jeff pulled away and gasped in horror. "Oh, my god! I'm the worst brother ever, Adam."

_No, I'm the worst psuedo-boyfriend ever, _Adam realized. Even a blind man could see that Adam and Jeff were falling for each other, but Adam knew he was too caught up in Matt's web of lies to do anything about it. _If I tell the truth, I'll lose any chance I have with Jeff. I keep quiet, Jeff and Matt will never be able to fix things._

_Thanks Matt, for putting me between a rock and a hard place. You jackass!_

~~~SCWAT~~~

"Phil, I've f-ed everything up." Matt moaned, his head in his hands as he sat on the couch. He had managed to escape Adam and Jeff on the subway and had high-tailed it to Phil's apartment. Thankfully, Phil was already home, albeit getting ready for bed, and he was happy to give Matt a shoulder to lean on.

Phil's face was full of genuine concern. "What do you mean?"

"Through all of this, to protect this awesome new relationship I have with Jeff, I end up accusing him, on the streets of Manhattan, of being a sleazy, heartless gay man, all in front of Eve's parents, who probably now think I'm a complete and utter freak. I've lied to everyone so many times, I have keep a scorecard. Now, I think I'm past the point of no return."

A smile lit up Phil's face. "Hey, you haven't lied to Anna and me."

"True." Matt raked his fingers through his hair. What's Eve gonna say when she finds out I've been lying to her this entire time?"

"Hey, one drama moment at a time, okay?" Phil climbed off the couch. "Let's go get Jeff.""

"And tell him what?"

"Like you've ever been at a loss for words? Come on."

**NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR: The song Jeff and Adam dance to is "Light On," by Beth Hart. BTW, if I'd followed the movie, then Phil would have caught JoMo making out with Dolph in the bathroom and broke up with him. I didn't have the heart to break them up, they're just too sweet together!:)**

**REVIEWS = LOVE**


	13. Chapter 13

_**Chapter Thirteen**_

Mr. Torres sighed and climbed into bed, wearing his pajamas. Tonight had been completely surreal, and he knew that he and his wife would have to have a serious discussion with their future son-in-law. He'd tried to talk to his wife and get her to hold off from calling Eve, but in the end, she was adamant.

"So, Honey, " he said. "What did you tell Eve?"

Mrs. Torres set the book she'd been reading down in her lap. "I told her that the apple of her eye was baking in someone else's oven, and that she'd better get herself home ASAP."

Mr. Torres chuckled and shook his head as his wife went back to her book.

After a tense silence, Mrs. Torres set down her book and climbed out of bed. "Get dressed."

"What?"

"Out of bed, get dressed. We're picking up Eve from the airport and going to Matt's. And we're not leaving until we get some answers."

~~~SCWAT~~~

"Maybe you're just misunderstanding me," said Phil, as he and Matt climbed out of the cab and stood on the curb next to Matt's apartment building.

"Now, why would I be jealous?" Matt asked, mildly exasperated. "I'm not even involved with Adam!"

"Matt, what I mean is, you're not lover jealous. Just jealous, jealous. Think about it, Matty. They're not romantically involved. But what's bothering you is that Adam's gotten closer to Jeff in 24 hours than you have in your entire lifetime. That's the kind of jealous I'm talking about." A pause. "Come on now, upstairs."

Jeff's fingers were linked into the belt loops of Adam's jeans as he pulled the blonde closer for another deep kiss. Sighing in bliss, Adam slid his fingers through Jeff's hair. What had started as a kiss at the bus stop became a hot makeout session as soon as they reached the main entrance to Matt's apartment building. They broke the kiss and smiled at each other, eyes twinkling, as they turned and bolted into the building before anyone noticed they were even there.

~~~SCWAT~~~

The first thing Matt noticed as he and Phil entered the apartment was that the front door was slightly open. "Hello? Jeff? Adam? Anyone..." Matt's voice trailed off as he noticed the trail of clothes on the floor.

"I don't like the looks of this, Matt," mumbled Phil as he and Matt followed the trail. Shoes...socks...one shirt...then another.

The trail ended in the living room, on the floor next to the couch. Two pairs of pants lay in separate heaps on the hardwood. A tangle of arms and legs and flushed faces and messed up blonde hair lay in a passionate, hot embrace.

It took nearly a full minute for it all to register in Matt's head.

_"Oh, my god,"_ he gasped, as Phil stared in wide-eyed shock.

Adam and Jeff sat up in stunned surprise. They were both in their boxer shorts. Jeff's shirt was off, and Adam was wearing a gray wife beater top. They were sweaty and flushed, and if Matt and Phil had walked in a few minutes later, they would have been completely undressed.

_"Matty,"_ Jeff choked out weakly, as he blindly reached for his pants and rose shakily to his feet. Red-faced with shame, he clutched his pants to his chest as he stumbled out of the living room and ducked into the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind him.

Matt, unable to speak, turned and stalked into the kitchen.

Adam was too stunned to do anything but fall back onto the floor and stare in a daze at the ceiling. The tension in the air had suddenly become so thick, you could put a fist through it. Finally, Phil spoke.

"I guess the genie's out of the bottle. Or, in this case, out of the closet."

~~~SCWAT~~~

Adam knocked gently on the locked bathroom door. He could hear sobbing on the other side. "Jeff?" he pleaded, his voice soft. "Jeff, open the door for me. Talk to me Jeff, please?" Jeff had been in the bathroom for nearly half an hour, and Adam lay on the floor in the doorway, trying to get him to talk. "Why won't you talk to me?"

"Go away," Jeff whimpered, dabbing his eyes with a Kleenex.

"Jeff, please. We really need to talk. Please open the door."

"Go away!"

"Jeff-"

_"Go away!"_

"Jeff, I know this is new for you. And I know it's confusing and weird. But Jeff, it's..." Adam paused. "It's..._right._ We are an _us-us,_ if there ever was one. It's _us!"_

Adam heard Jeff stand up and turn the doorknob. He staggered quickly to his feet.

Jeff opened the door slightly, his face blotchy and his eyes bloodshot from crying. "Adam, please! Just go to Matty."

"Jeff, he's not my boyfriend."

Jeff tilted his head. "What are you talking about?"

"He's not my boyfriend. He never was!"

"What do you mean?"

After a few crackling moments of silence, Adam said, "Can I ask you a question?"

"Ohhhkaayyyy," Jeff answered warily, narrowing his eyes.

Adam pressed his lips into a tight line. "What would be worse to you? A cheater, or a liar..."

~~~SCWAT~~~

"Would you please calm down?" exclaimed Phil, as he followed Matt into the kitchen. "It may not be as bad as you think-"

_"Are you high?"_ Matt fired back, flinging open the door to the fridge and pulling out a bottle of Smirnoff. He took a shot glass out of the cupboard and poured himself a shot of liquid courage.

"You're drinking vodka," Phil said, hopping onto the counter and grabbing a cupcake from the box he and Anna had brought earlier.

Matt downed the shot and slammed the glass onto the counter. "Thanks for pointing that out, Captain Obvious. You know, there's a lot of things going on around here right now that aren't as they should be. I feel like I'm living in a parallel universe."

Phil smirked. "The evil Captain Kirk was sexy as hell," he purred, nibbling on the cupcake.

"You watch _Star Trek,_ too!"

"Set, point and match. You have more in common with me than you think."

"Okay, back to me, My high maintenance brother just stole my boyfriend!"

Phil looked at Matt like he'd just sprouted horns and a tail. _"Will you listen to yourself?"_ he snapped. "Jeff didn't steal anyone! Adam is not your boyfriend!"

Matt leaned against the fridge. "But Jeff doesn't know that," he sighed.

Matt's cell phone rang on the counter, and he reached for it. "Hello? Oh. Okay. Thanks, thanks for telling me. Bye." He hung up the phone, his face suddenly gone pale.

"Who was that?"

"Mr. Torres. His wife just called Eve in a panic about me. Eve's flying back, she's on her way over _here!"_

"What did Eve's mom tell her. When the cat's away, the mice deep throat?"

"Ha, ha!"

Phil hopped off the counter and pulled out his own phone. "Okay, this is approaching critical mass. I'm calling in reinforcements," he said, dialing. "Hey, Anna. It's Phil. I need you at Matt's place. _Now."_

~~~SCWAT~~~

Jeff rushed around the guest bedroom, putting together all of his things and putting them in his now-open suitcase. He was hurt, he was guilty, he was confused...he was almost overwhelmed by the emotions that were tearing through him. As soon he was packed, Jeff would head back to the airport and back to Trish, back to where it was safe and familiar. And he would plan never to visit New York City again.

Adam ventured carefully into the room. "What are you doing?"

"Writing a love letter, what does it look like?"

"I don't see a pen or paper anywhere."

"I'm packing up, and I'm taking the red eye back to North Carolina. I'm going back to my wife, because that's where I should be. If Matt wants to visit, he can come out there himself. Because I'm never, ever coming back here."

Jeff pushed past Adam and grabbed a few more things. Adam followed after him. "Don't you think it's possible that you may be overreacting?" he asked, folding his arms across his chest. "If you think about it, Jeff, where's the bad? Your brother has been jumping through hoops trying to spare your feelings, and obviously, you and I are crazy about each other."

Adam grabbed Jeff's arm gently and spun him around to face him.

Jeff broke free from Adam's gentle grasp. "I don't even know who you are."

"Everything about me is true," Adam said, his voice soft. "I'm Adam Copeland. I am an artist. I was born in Toronto. After I graduated, I went to art school. I've lived here for ten years. I'm thirty years old. "

Jeff turned around and packed the rest of his items.

Adam knelt in front of Jeff, desperately tried to make eye contact. "Jeff, please! You have to believe me when I tell you that nobody makes me as crazy as you, in a good way. Jeff, if you don't believe anything else that I've said to you tonight, you've got to believe me that I know that I've never, ever been in love before. Until today. I never felt this way. Even when I was with my ex. Please Jeff, please believe me."

Jeff zipped up his suitcase and gazed down into Adam's pleading expression. A tense moment passed...and Jeff turned sharply on his heel. Clutching the suitcase, he stalked out the door, knocking Adam to the floor with the luggage as he went.

**NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR: Wow! First, he falls off a ladder. Then he gets hit with a broken baseball bat. Now, he gets clubbed with a suitcase!. Boy, I didn't realize that hanging out with the Hardys can be so hazardous to your health. Maybe Adam should invest in a crash helmet and elbow and knee pads!:)**

**REVIEWS = LOVE**


	14. Chapter 14

_**Chapter Fourteen**_

"Matt, you have to talk to him," sighed Anna, taking a seat across from Matt at the kitchen table.

"I think he's with his new boyfriend," Matt snorted.

Phil smirked and got a Pepsi from the fridge. He offered one to Matt, who shook his head. "You know, there's nobody else who finds this situation spicier than me. It's almost like a really good gay soap opera. But the point is, Eve's on her way over here, and if you don't settle things with Jeff, this whole thing will blow up in your face, and you could lose _everything."_

Matt sulked. "I just can't get my head around everything right now," he sighed, just as Adam staggered into the kitchen and blindly opened the freezer door.

"Ice pack, I need an ice pack."

Matt glanced up. "Adam, are you okay?"

"I got clubbed with a suitcase. I swear, you and your brother are gonna put me in traction."

"Where's Jeff?" Phil asked, cracking open his Pepsi and taking a long, cold sip.

"I don't know," Adam sighed, as Anna helped him put some ice in a plastic bag. "He's been in his room for two hours, crying and packing. I tried to tell him the truth-"

Matt leaped out of his chair. "WHAT?"

"Sorry, I know that's not what you wanted, but don't freak. I think I just confused Jeff more."

"Might as well get this over with," sighed Matt, trudging out of the kitchen.

Anna helped Adam into a chair. "Here, sit down. You and Phil and I can share tales of heartache, and you can tell Phil all about how you managed to get Jeff to play for the other side."

~~~SCWAT~~~

Matt opened the door, just in time to duck out of the way of a flying shoe. Jeff glanced up in surprise at his brother and then looked down towards his packed suitcase. "Sorry. Didn't mean to throw that at you."

"I'm sure it just Freudian slipped out of your hands."

Jeff grabbed a few more of his things. "Whatever you wanna say, make it quick. As soon as I'm packed, I'm out of here."

Matt slammed the bedroom door shut. _"Oh, no you don't!_ You don't get to be all pissed off here! Okay, there's a few things I need to explain, but _you _don't have a Get Out Of Jail Free card! Your behavior has been _way_ out of line and..." Matt's voice trailed off as he noticed the bottle lying on top of the pile of Jeff's clothes in his suitcase. "Okay, Jeff. The CK One is mine."

"No it's not!" Jeff spat, indignantly. "It's mine, and I'm taking it home."

"No it's not, and at forty dollars a bottle, It's staying here."

Jeff grabbed the bottle and put it behind his back as Matt lunged for it. "It's mine!"

"Give it back, Jeff!"

The brothers struggled all over the bedroom over the bottle of cologne. "No!" Jeff shouted.

"Give it back!"

"NO!" Suddenly, Jeff's arm lashed out, and he inadvertently forearm-shivered his brother into the closet door. Matt hit his head on the doorway so hard, he saw stars.

Jeff set the bottle down and approached his brother cautiously. "Matty! Oh, dammit! I'm so sorry!"

Matt rubbed the sore spot on his head. "You trying to kill me?"

"No. I'm really really sorry!"

"It's okay, Jeff. I'll be fine."

Jeff flopped onto the bed. "Why is it so hard for us to get along?" asked, his voice wavering.

Matt gave his brother a box of Kleenex. "I don't know. Maybe it's because you keep stealing things from me."

Jeff nodded and looked down at the floor.

Matt sat down next to his brother. "You said you were coming to New York because you wanted to see me. Why?"

"It doesn't matter anymore," answered Jeff.

"It matters to me. Come on, Jeff. Talk to me."

Jeff looked up. "At the wedding, you really blew me away. It was almost like you were holding up a mirror in front of my face."

It suddenly dawned on Matt that his brother hadn't been trying to steal Adam. "So everything with Adam, it wasn't stealing him away because you could? You weren't playing around, were you?"

"No, Matty. After all this came out, Dad said to me that he always knew that one of us would be gay. He thought for the longest time that I'd be the gay one, and after the wedding, he said he got us confused. That's not true. He was right about me all along."

"So that means you're..."

"Yeah. I'm gay."

"How long have you known?"

"Remember Shawn Michaels from Camp Wounded Eagle? We used to practice kissing behind the boathouse. The summer he said he didn't want to practice anymore, I cried so hard, that the camp nurse thought I had pinkeye and sent me to the infirmary so I wouldn't spread it."

"Wow."

Jeff cracked a tentative smile. "Matty, even though I'm really confused and all in knots about everything that's happened, I'm pretty sure I'm in love with Adam." He paused. "Why'd you tell me that he was you're boyfriend?"

"Because you thought I made up being gay to ruin your wedding."

"Well, are you?"

"Am I what?"

"Gay."

"No, Jeff. I'm not."

"Then why did you say you were when you weren't?"

"Because Phil...dammit. It's stupid and it's complicated. I'm straight, and Adam's not my boyfriend. I have a girlfriend who's named Eve."

"Why didn't you introduce us to her?"

"Because I didn't think you and Dad would accept her if I introduced her to you."

"Why?" Jeff cocked his head. "Is there something wrong with her?"

Matt sighed and raked through his hair with his fingers. "Her mom's black and her dad's Hispanic."

Jeff's jaw dropped in shock. Glaring at Matt, he jumped off the bed and stomped across the floor to the window.

"Hey!" exclaimed Matt. "Come on, Jeff. Dad would have freaked out, and you know it!"

Jeff turned to face his brother. "Well, he seemed to handle the you-being-gay-at-my-wedding thing really well! Matty, you are a piece of work. You move to New York and think everyone you left behind is a bunch of uneducated backwoods rednecks! If you'd ever expressed the most remote interest in what was going on in our lives, you would know that Dad's best friend is a black man!

"Jimmy?"

"Yeah, Jimmy! Why do you think he helped us out with the wedding arrangements?"

"Because that's his job, Jeff. He works for Dad, that doesn't mean they're friends-"

Jeff snorted. "What would you know? You haven't been around. Jimmy doesn't work for Dad anymore. He has a wildly successful landscaping business. I think you just assumed all that because you're prejudiced."

You could have knocked Matt over with a feather. _"What?"_

"I'm just calling it as I see it, Matty."

"Jeff, that's the most ridiculous thing I ever heard in my life!"

"Is it? I'm not the one who's ashamed of who I'm dating."

"I'm not ashamed of who I'm dating!" He noticed something else in the open suitcase and pulled it out. "Oh, by the way Jeff. This is my baseball cap."

Jeff smiled sheepishly and blushed.

Matt threw the baseball cap at his brother. "Put it back, Jeff."

~~~SCWAT~~~

"Okay, ten minutes on, ten minutes off," said Phil, sitting across from Adam in the kitchen. "It's only been seven minutes."

Adam put the ice pack back on his head. "They've been in there for how long, an hour?"

"At least," answered Anna as she took sandwich fixings out of the fridge and began to make a sandwich. "Can I fix you something to eat?"

"No. What do you think it means, them being in the room for an hour?"

"Well, a short deliberation usually means a conviction, so the fact they've been in the bedroom for a while is a very good sign."

Adam goggled at the size of the sandwich Anna made. "You look like a good gust of wind would knock you over, and yet you eat like a horse. Where do you put it?"

"Hollow legs," Phil laughed.

Anna held out her finished sandwich. "Want a bite?"

"What the hell," said Adam, grabbing the sandwich and taking a bite. After chewing and swallowing, Adam smiled. "Hey, this is good. I didn't realize I was that hungry."

"Can I have it back?"

Adam shook his head.

"Adam, gimme back my sandwich."

"No."

Anna lunged towards her sandwich, as Phil looked on and laughed. "Phil, you're not helping! Adam, I will staple your spleen to a light post if you don't give me back my sandwich!"

He gave it back.

~~~SCWAT~~~

Jeff tripped over one of his suitcases and wound up sprawled across the floor. "Ow, dammit!"

"Jeff, calm down," Matt said, as Jeff sat up against the bedroom wall. "I don't wanna go another round with you."

"Maybe this is just normal behavior between brothers."

Matt chuckled as he joined his brother. "Jeff, there's nothing normal about you and me. But maybe there's more than a little truth in what you said."

Jeff sighed. "I was just trying to make you mad."

"Actually Jeff, you may be right. I just assumed that you'd both have a problem with everything. Maybe it's me. Deep down inside, maybe it's all me."

Matt and Jeff sat lost in thought for a moment. Then, Jeff gasped and widened his eyes in shock. "Oh, crap!"

"Oh crap, what?"

"After you caught Adam and me, I got so freaked out, I called Dad and Trish!"

Matt's heart began to race. "What did you tell them?"

"I told them to come up and get me."

Matt's eyes widened in horror and he sprinted out of the bedroom.

~~~SCWAT~~~

Phil met Matt at the front door to his apartment. "Where's the fire? What are you doing?"

"Getting a head start, Phil!"

"Matt, slow down. What's going on?"

"Jeff called home in a panic and now EVERYONE is on their way over! Dad, the Torreses, Eve, Trish—everyone!"

"I was flipping out!" exclaimed Jeff, following his brother out into the hall.

Anna put her empty sandwich plate in the sink. "The Legend's coming to New York City? Wow. It'll never be the same."

"Your wife's on her way over?" Adam questioned, as he joined Matt, Jeff and the others.

Matt sighed and threw the door open, revealing, Mom and Dad Torres, Eve, Trish and Gil. All of them were staring at Matt strangely.

After an excruciating silence, Phil turned to Anna. "We'll go put on a pot of vodka."

**NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR: Well, the truth is out, and the gang's all here! And to think, all of this would have been avoided if Matt had just been honest from Day One. But if he'd done that, we wouldn't have a story!**

**REVIEWS = LOVE**


	15. Chapter 15

_**Chapter Fifteen**_

"So, you're telling me that Jeff from Kona is your brother?" Eve questioned, once everyone was situated in the living room.

"Yes," Matt nodded.

"But when he says _brother, _it's meant as a political statement. Jeff's a gay activist," Mrs. Torres pointed out.

Finally, Matt could not longer stand it. "NO!" he exclaimed, loudly, smacking the arm of the loveseat he was sitting in. "I just told you that. Jeff is not a gay activist. He's my brother...my biological brother."

"So, you're really not gay Jeff?"

"I...I am," Jeff said, after an uncomfortable silence.

Adam looked at him strangely. "You are?"

Gil shook his head in disbelief. "Is there something in the water?"

"Dad, Matty's not gay," sighed Jeff. "I am."

Mr. Torres cocked his head at Gil. "So you're really are Matt's father."

Another tense silence. Then, Matt sighed. "I give up. Mr and Mrs Torres, this is my dad, Gilbert Hardy, my brother Jeff, and his wife, Trish."

"Wait, you just said you were gay," Mrs. Torres cut in.

"I am," answered Jeff.

Phil offered Gil a shot of vodka. Gil shook his head. Shrugging his shoulders, Phil handed the shot to Matt, who chugged it down.

"So who is this?" Mrs Torres shook her head at Adam, who stood next to Jeff.

"This is my boyfriend, Adam."

"I'm your boyfriend?" Adam's voice was almost a whisper.

Groaning, Matt threw his head in his hands.

"Guess that straightens everything out," sighed Anna. "Just like a freaking pretzel."

"I—I can't handle this!" Suddenly Trish, who was overwhelmed by the news, fainted. If Gil and Jeff hadn't caught her, she would have crashed to the floor.

In the commotion, Matt gestured to Eve. "We need to talk."

Eve nodded sternly at her fiancee. "We certainly do." As she followed Matt down the hall, she heard her mom say, "I thought all of you were dead."

~~~SCWAT~~~

Eve slammed the door shut after she and Matt walked into Matt's room. "Matt, what the hell is going on? I get on the first plane out, only to arrive with your very much alive father and apparently, your gay lover!"

Matt put his hands up in front of him. "Okay. This is kinda like a jigsaw puzzle, where you have all the pieces, but they're just not in the right place."

"What's going on?"

"Eve...I lied to you."

"No kidding, Captain Obvious. I know that already. Why?"

"Because I'm insane! Because I didn't want you to meet my family. I convinced myself that they wouldn't accept you because of what you look like. But the truth is, despite the fact that I'm in love with you, and that I should know better, and it's contrary to what I believe in and how I live my life, I'm the one with the problem."

Eve put her hand on her him. "What are you saying?"

"I'm prejudiced. And the worst possible kind, because I pretend to be okay with it."

"Okay, Matt. This is ridiculous-"

"It's not! Jeff helped me see that. Eve, Babe,..." Matt sighed, and his voice became small. "I'm a racist."

Eve snorted. "Number one, a racist wouldn't me Babe. Sit down."

Matt sat down on his bed.

"Here's what's going on here. I'll be brutally honest. You're terrified, and you're using this insanity to push me away. Only a brain like yours would come up with a deeper reason than 'I just found out I'm a racist' in order to avoid what you're really feeling."

"So, what am I feeling?"

"I don't know. How should I know?" Angrily, Eve turned and headed for the door.

Matt sprung to his feet. "Where are you going?"

Eve turned and glared at Matt. "You lied to me, Matt. You lied to me a lot. That means we have a problem. We're broke, and I don't know how we can fix us. I know how I feel about you, but apparently, you have a problem with _us._ And you have to figure it out."

"Okay. I do lie to you, but I lie to everyone. Which is a problem, sure, but it doesn't mean it's specifically our problem."

"I'm going." Eve turned on her heel.

"Eve, no! Don't leave! Listen to me! I'm..." Matt desperately searched for a reason, any reason, that could explain why he did what he did. Then it came to him. "I'm...I...I don't want a happily ever after. Because when you get a happily ever after, that's when the story ends."

Eve turned to stare at Matt strangely. "What?"

"Hear me out. Think of Belle in _Beauty and the Beast._ Or Ariel in _The Little Mermaid. _Or _Snow White, _or _Cinderella-"_

"They're girls."

"But the story is the same. They're just like me." Matt looked down at the floor. "They don't have mothers, they spend their lives looking for their Prince Charming, and when they find them, the story ends. My life's been a fairy tale, just not in a good way. I'm an animated character who lost his mom and found Prince Charming, or in this case Princess Charming. And I'm afraid my story's gonna end after Happily Ever After." Matt finished his speech and glanced over at Eve. "So, what are you thinking?"

Eve shook her head. "I think you may be the craziest man I have ever met."

Matt lifted his head, his expression hopeful. "Is that a good thing?"

"I don't know."

"Eve, I'll help you figure it out. If you love me, then it's a good thing." Matt climbed off the bed and put his hand gently on Eve's shoulder. "You said you knew how you felt about me. Is it love you feel?"

Eve contemplated for a moment, and then she looked up at Matt. A smile spread slowly across her face. "It is."

Matt wrapped his arms around Eve and drew her closer. The relief was clearly palpable as he said, "You're serious?"

"As a heart attack," Eve sighed, as Matt drew her in for a kiss."

~~~SCWAT~~~

"You gonna be okay out here?" Phil asked, outside of Matt's apartment building. The two of them watched Jeff and Trish standing on the curb , talking and waiting for a taxi. Neither Phil nor Adam could hear what was being said.

"I think so. You can go back up if you want," Adam reassured him. Phil left with a pat on the shoulder and a sympathetic look in his eyes.

A sigh escaped Adam's lips as he rested against the doorway to the building. His back was turned to Jeff and Trish as they conversed. If both of them decided to leave and return to their married life in North Carolina, Adam didn't want to watch. Seeing the best thing that ever happened to him walk out of his life would be completely unbearable.

~~~SCWAT~~~

Upstairs, Anna, Gil, and the Torreses swapped stories over some Red Zinger tea and leftovers. The conversation had started out as tense, then polite, and then downright raucous as they laughed and showed baby pictures of their children and finally got to know each other.

~~~SCWAT~~~

Adam's heart felt like a aching wasteland as he glanced over his shoulder. Jeff and Trish were still talking, and Jeff wrapped Trish in his arms and kissed the top of her head. A lump rose in Adam's throat when he heard a taxi pull up to the sidewalk. He turned away, unshed tears prickling his eyes.

~~~SCWAT~~~

In the bedroom, Matt held Eve gently in his arms and stroked her hair as the two of them talked about their future. The two of them discussed wedding plans, and who to invite, as well as where they wanted to go on their honeymoon. Now that the truth about Matt's family was out, they could finally be honest and comfortable with each other.

~~~SCWAT~~~

The cab pulled away from the curb, and Adam finally gathered the nerve to turn around. A lone figure stood on the curb, waving as the cab drove away.

The figure turned.

Their eyes met.

"I guess you're right, Adam. We are an _us-us,_ if there ever was one."

Adam let his tears fall as he and Jeff embraced each other in the middle of the quiet sidewalk. "We are, Jeff," he whispered. "We most certainly are."

~~~SCWAT~~~

Matt and Eve awoke the next morning to breakfast smells. "Whatever's cooking, it smells delicious," Eve whispered, propping herself up on her elbow in Matt's bed. She was wearing Matt's shirt, and Matt was wearing boxers and a black wife beater.

"You hungry, Babe?" Matt yawned, rubbing his eyes.

"Yeah, let's get out of bed and eat."

Adam and Jeff, who were sleeping in the guest bedroom, woke up too and padded down the hall to see what was cooking. So did Phil, who awoke to Gil's arm around him. Surprised, he lifted the arm off of his shoulder and looked up at Gil, who was awake and staring in surprise. They both blushed and mumbled a couple of apologies before climbing off the couch.

"Good morning, everyone!" Mrs. Torres called out. "We've made you all breakfast. If you like, you can put the fruit on the table."

Matt and Eve stumbled sleepily into the kitchen. There was a pitcher of fresh squeezed orange juice, a plate of crunchy turkey bacon, and a bowl of sliced fruit on the counter. Mrs. Torres was taking plates out of the cupboard and silverware out of the drawer. Mr. Torres was slicing pieces of the bread he'd brought over the previous night and dipping them into what looked like an egg wash. Anna stood at the stove, cooking something in a hot skillet. "Who decided to make us all breakfast?"

"Me," answered Matt's mother-in-law to be, as she set the utensils on the counter along with the plates. "And my lovely husband and Anna."

"It's a good thing she's helping us out," Mr. Torres remarked. "She knows her way around your kitchen."

"It's French toast," Anna said, lifting a puffy, golden-brown object off of the skillet with a spatula and placing it on a platter. "We just discovered a new way to use all that bread Mr. Torres brings over for you. Oh, by the way, Jay and Evan are coming over. I had them go on a coffee run to Cafe Grumpy. JoMo's bringing ingredients for mimosas."

Phil staggered in, his eyes squeezed to slits by a yawn. "He's not bringing champagne, is he?"

"Oh, no," Mr. Torres said, laying some more egg-dipped bread slices into the hot skillet. "It's orange juice and sparkling water, and we've supplied the orange juice."

"Consider this our first ever family breakfast," Mrs. Torres smiled. It was an enjoyable get-together. Eleven people were eventually crowded around the breakfast table and into the living room. Conversation and laughter flowed like the mimosas JoMo made, and the coffee Jay and Evan brought.

Eve fed Matt a piece of French toast. "You know, Babe," she said. "I think things are finally the way they should be."

Matt smiled as he watched all the couples eating their breakfast and enjoying the company. "Jeff said to me on the day before his wedding that everything about it was just all wrong.." He gazed over at Adam and Jeff. They looked cozy and sweet with each other as they fed each other pieces of fruit and French toast and sneaking kisses when they thought nobody was watching. "Looking at everyone, I can't help but think that everything just feels right."

Eve smiled. "Matt, I couldn't agree more."

~~~SCWAT~~~

_**Six Months Later**_

"That's the first time I've ever seen a bride wearing cake behind her ears," laughed Anna, as she and Jay and Evan and Phil sat at the table eating lemon poppyseed wedding cake with raspberry filling and whipped cream frosting. Matt and Eve had had a lovely wedding, and the reception was already memorable, because the newlyweds had gotten into a cakefight when they cut the cake. "So, Jay, do you and Evan have a ring and a date yet?"

"Well, I have a ring," Evan beamed. "But we don't have a date yet."

So much had changed in the last six months. Phil and JoMo had gotten serious, and Anna made the decision to move out to give them their privacy. It was a friendly split; Phil and Anna were still best friends, and they still worked at the tattoo shop, where Jeff was the newest employee/apprentice. Anna had taken Daffney up on her offer and moved in with her in February. Jeff and Adam had a place of their own, and the two of them were truly an "Us-us," as they liked to put it.

Phil sipped his Pepsi. "Well, to do this properly, you need at least nine months of preparation. "

"Nine months?" Jay cocked his head. "We're planning a wedding, not a birth."

"It's kinda like a birth," Phil pointed out. "It's the start of a whole new life together."

Just then, JoMo rushed over to the table and leaned over. "Hey, guys!" he said, breathlessly. "There's a rumor going around that Carlito, the best man, is gay."

Phil and Anna stared at each other for a moment, a knowing look on each of their faces. Then they turned to JoMo.

"Uhmmm...we're gonna stay out of this one," Phil said, as Anna smirked and nodded in agreement.

**THE END**

**NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR: YAAY! I'm finished! Hope you enjoyed reading this story as much as I enjoyed writing it. I've got a few more stories in the pipeline, so stay tuned!:)**

**REVIEWS = LOVE**


End file.
